So another one of my assignments when I was working with the life coach was to question my own beliefs about things. Like, if you think you’re more successful in life because you’re a lawyer instead of basket maker, why is that? How important is money in your life? What does money mean to you? Is it safety and security? A necessary evil? Something to share with friends? Is it limited? Why do you think that? Is it possible that it could be something else than what you think? Why or why not? What is your true measure of success? What is your true measure of happiness? Are your answers for both questions the same?
Supposedly most of our beliefs come directly from our experiences, and for the most part, childhood. It happened once; therefore we assume it will happen again. Things our parents told us over and over as children were accepted many years ago and possibly never questioned or considered. Now today, whenever we have a 'choice' in front of us, we don't actually weigh the infinite options. We weigh our individual experiences along with what we've been brought up to accept as true. According to the coach, once you recognize these beliefs, you can change them (if they hold you back in some way). As I have a sense of hope for both myself and the world around me, I was inclined to agree with her, but in certain moments, striking out into new territory isn't always well-received.
Me: Happy father’s day!
Dad: Hey Dot. Thanks.
Me: How are you?
Dad: Oh, I’m pretty good. Got in a few rounds of golf this week despite the weather. I’ll be happier in November when our nation hopefully gains a new president.
Me: Dad, can we not talk politics?
Dad: Wasn’t talking politics, Dot, just stating a fact. How are you? Still freelancing?
Me: Yep, starting to hit my groove on that, hoping to pick up a few new clients or a few more assignments, but it’s pretty cool.
Dad: So how’s the job search coming?
Me: Well, I’m not really looking for a full-time corporate job right now, Dad. I have two main customers. One where I’m learning a lot, the other where I’m flying by the seat of my pants. I do work in Houston and Austin, hoping to build both avenues so that if I decide to move back to Austin one day, I’ll already have the work part set-up. My main client is a pretty good person to work with, which is super refreshing after some of my more recent career experiences. I’m not making a ton, but I am making enough to pay my bills and my student loans, and like I said, hopefully this will grow a little bit. On the plus-side of that, I only work about two-four hours a day, make my own schedule, don’t have any kind of dress code, and have tons of time to explore other options and interests, like trying to teach myself to play violin or doing volunteer stuff. After kinda blindly chasing the next step on the ladder of life for the last ten years or so, it’s been really nice to just take a break, enjoy life, and finally take the time to explore and figure out what I want my next move to be.
Dad: But you don’t have health insurance, right?
Me: Well, I pay for catastrophic.
Dad: Yeah, that’s not health insurance. And no other benefits like a 401k or anything?
Dad: And you pay ADDITIONAL employment TAXES that would otherwise be paid by a company except you ‘work for yourself.’
Me: You got it.
Dad: Well, hopefully in November the nation will elect a new president, the economy will recover, and you’ll finally be able to get a job.
Me: Or maybe the nation won’t, and I’ll finally get some effin' health insurance.
Dad: Well, I tell your mother you said hello. We’re pulling for you, Dot.
Me: Thanks Pop. Love you lots.
My life coach was pretty awesome. Sadly, she was so awesome that she got really popular and started charging $450 an hour. When I said I couldn’t pay that much, she let me know that she perfectly understood; she was aware of the self-limiting beliefs I had in relation to money.