Things you can't say in a dating profile, Part 4

I think expressing these thoughts online would probably guarantee date-less-ness, but here are few more that go through my mind.

People, why are you shooting yourself in the foot with some of these photos you post? Let's think about this...

Shirtless pictures of dudes in the bathroom holding their phone/camera up to the mirror. Why? Why would you think this is attractive? Is there a male equivalent for hoochie? I’m glad you like your abs, but I’d rather see them AFTER I get to know you. Do yourself a favor and get someone to take a few pics the next time you're out. Not only will you be clothed, you’ll give off the appearance of having a life. It doesn’t matter if the pic shows you at the beach, working out, whatever – no shirtless photos!

The disappearing hair act. This is the guy who has a full head of hair in his main profile pic, but with each click on a new picture, the hair gets thinner and thinner until the very last picture where he has almost no hair at all. I need to tell you – it’s not the lack of hair that makes this guy unattractive. It’s the idea that he is openly insecure about his hair and semi-deceptive about it. Same goes for thinning haired guys who wear ball caps in their main profile pic. No one wants to go out with someone (guy or girl) who shows a lack of confidence before you’ve even met. Do yourself a favor and own it. That’s hot.

A billion pics of a guy/girl in exotic locations. One or two travel pics are enough. If you create the impression that you’re traveling the world in every spare moment, well then I might as well stay single because I’ll probably never see you.

The picture of the dude standing front of an expensive car. It’s gross. No really, it’s gross, and it also makes me wonder about your debt-to-income ratio. Do you own it? Is it leased? Did you pay cash, or maybe instead, you’re plunking down payments of $600 a month because you can’t afford a mortgage? You're profile should be about you, not your stuff.

Pictures of dudes holding up a dead deer. When most hunting these days consists of visiting a ranch on which dozens of deer have been dumped and then sitting quietly a few feet away from a massive pile of food, your big kill doesn’t look impressive so much as sad. Also, you killed Bambi’s mom. Seriously, that’s the first thought in 80% of women’s minds. Bambi-killer. Big dead fish are ok. Fishing can definitely be difficult and requires a lot of patience.

Don't hate me. -Ana