Things you can't say in a dating profile...

So, I recently signed up for online dating again. It's not so bad. I've realized that I'm much more open to meeting people these days and (somewhat) less defensive/protective. However, occasionally I find that there are things that I "wish" I could put in my online profile. These are the blunt statements that would keep the goofballs away, but sadly would also probably cause the well-adjusted folks to pass as well.

Here's what I wish I could add to it today:

PS – I read a lot of profiles from guys who say that they’re looking for a smart gal with whom they can engage in debate, banter, etc. Here’s the deal: I do that for a living. It’s the last thing I want to do when I come home from work. When guys attempt to challenge my intellect, it’s a complete turn-off. Let's all accept that I'm a smart cookie and move on. Also, since I get paid to win arguments, I’m really-really good at making them. I’m more than happy to admit when I’m wrong, but if you are insistent on engaging in a battle of wits, I’ll go straight into work mode, and you will most definitely not be happy with the outcome. Neither will I, for that matter. If it's important for you to feel like the "smart" one in the relationship, I kindly suggest that you simply assume that you are and never test that theory. Let me be the girl in the relationship and talk about cute shoes. If you want to feel like the alpha male, impress me with your team sport skills or fix my shower. That’s hot.