My Mother's Child...

So, I'm not preppie, but I find as a I get older that I do prefer simple over outrageous, and classic over trendy.

...which is why I loved a recent email from my mother where she asked,

"Do you think I might find a dress for your brother's wedding at LL.Bean? It is a beach wedding after all."

And How is Life Treating Me?

Well, my boss went out of town - so I thought things might quiet down a bit. Sometime in mid-December I chipped (thankfully) a back molar. (Thankful that it was in the back as opposed to the front.) Because I thought all might be quiet on the western front, I made an ridiculously early dental appointment for this week (which felt even earlier since I forgot all about daylight savings stuff).

On the day of the appointment I almost canceled when I woke up because a ton of emails came in overnight, and I had SO much to do! But I went. Gotta fix that chipped tooth. So I black-berried constantly as they performed the exam, and almost didn't stick around to let them set up my teeth for the crown.

I was screaming, "I have an acquisition contract for Singapore that has to be done by today! And I have all hell breaking loose in West Africa! I have to go to work!!!!"

But then, I leaned back in the chair, took my shot(s) of novacaine and decided to enjoy the little bit of quiet time that I had to myself.

And that, my friends, is how I fell asleep as the dentist was DRILLING MY TEETH!

Of course, when I woke up and saw the time, I totally freaked out (and cleaned an enormous pool of drool off of my body) and told them I needed to leave RIGHT NOW...

...which is why I'm not allowed to chew on the right side of my mouth until I return.

The Redneck Hippie and the Yuppie Granola…

It has come to my attention that many people put hippies and greenies and their various subforms into one large category. Au contraire, mon frère, these groups are very different – and two that run rampant in Texas are…the redneck hippie and the yuppie granola. Allow me to educate…

The yuppie granola drives….the latest and greatest hybrid vehicle.
The redneck hippie drives…a twenty year old pick-up truck that may have crummy emissions, but ultimately leaves a smaller carbon footprint when you figure out that the yuppie granola owns four different cars in the same time period.

The yuppie granola....wears all-natural make-up.
The redneck hippie...dude, all you need are a few freckles and some drugstore lip gloss.

The yuppie granola … cools and heats their home by retrofitting it with super-cool environmental insulation, weird underground heating stuff, and the like. No telling what happens to the system and insulation that they throw away to do this.
The redneck hippie … opens and closes their windows.

The yuppie granola…wears only natural fibers bought from sustainable wage and growth farms.
The redneck hippie…wears the same pair of jeans until they are no more and t-shirts that are usually given away as promotional items.

The yuppie granola…drinks organic wine (preferably from Willamette Valley) and occasionally, a Northwest microbrew.
The redneck hippie…buys local and drinks Lone Star Beer…unless they’re going to be drinking a whole lot. Then they go for Miller Lite because it creates the smallest hangover of any beer in the world.

The yuppie granola...plays charades and Scrabble.
The redneck hippie...was proud to introduce you to both washers and testicle toss.

The yuppie granola…will pay $5 for a fresh mango from Whole Foods.
The redneck hippie…will pay the processing fees on a freshly killed deer their friend shot last weekend at the lease.

The yuppie granola...may not recognize the name David Al*lan Coe, but they'll probably remember being wasted in college and hearing the song You Never Even Called Me by My Name when the bars closed.
The redneck hippie...has likely met David Al*lan Coe at some point in their lifetime, and they were probably wasted when it happened.

The yuppie granola…loves live music and all of its artistry.
The redneck hippie…actually knows how to play a guitar.

The yuppie granola...is what Austin is today.
The redneck hippie...is what made Austin.

And if you're curious as to which one I am more inclined to side with...the other day a Prius drove past me and I had the most horrible thought...which was, "Man, how awesome would it be if a few years from now someone discovers that lithium batteries are like the most horrible environmental thing ever?"

Then I drove over the Prius with my eleven-year-old Ford.

Around the House Frugality…

I’ve never made much money, so over time, I’ve learned to be cheap, I mean, um, frugal. In law school, and in the year after, I learned how to do so like never before. Here are some cost-cutting tips that add up over time (and which usually help the environment-bonus). And yes, I do all of these things…even though I am now gainfully employed.

Ditch the Fabric Softener…
Dude, not only will you save money on the bottle itself, but this stuff is murder on fabric. How do you think it gets soft? It breaks the fabric down! If you can’t cut it out completely, at least do it for your linens. Fabric softener ruins the absorbency of towels and wears out your sheets.

Turn the heat DOWN and the A/C UP…
If it’s cold, bundle up. If it’s hot, go naked-ish. Invest in blankets, sweaters, tank-tops, and light flowy dresses.

Television is EVIL…
I haven’t subscribed to cable since 1998. Let’s face it, television is a time sucker. You don’t need it. Yet, if you have it, you’ll find yourself watching Golden Girls marathons on Lifetime ad nauseum. Dying to see a sporting event? Go be social and catch it at a bar…or get your parents to give you access to their Slingbox. ;-) (Thanks Mom and Dad!)

Handwash your Dishes…
I thought I’d be so stoked to have a dishwasher in this new apartment. I like having it, but I almost never use it except for large items or when I cook for a group. When I eat at home, I rinse my dish and silverware with one of those scrubbies that you can add dishwashing soap to. Dishwashing soap costs less than $2 a bottle and lasts FOREVER. The next night? I use the same set again. Rinse and REPEAT!

Is that a Microwave?
I have an irrational fear of microwaves. Are we all suddenly dying of cancer because people are living longer…or is it that damn microwave? Plastic dishes freak me out too. Needless to say, I haven’t had a microwave in years. Wanna know what else is cool about no microwave? WEIGHT CONTROL, BABY! It’s way too easy to pop something in the microwave and then pop it in your mouth. When you cook something on the stove or in the oven, it requires effort…and time. I can’t tell you how often I’ve shoved something in the oven only to return twenty minutes later and realize that I’m not hungry anymore.

Drink water…
It’s good for you…and it’s FREE!

If you must drink Coke…
Off-brand stuff tastes different, but just how we all adjusted to Diet Coke when it came out, you can also adjust to supermarket-brand Coke. It’s usually about 33% cheaper…and I actually found one that I like better than Diet Coke itself.

Unplug It…
Stuff that’s plugged in is using electricity…even if you’re not using the appliance. Pull the plug. Save the earth. Save your cash.

Dry Cleaning is EXPENSIVE!
And it has *nasty* chemicals. Cut your dry-cleaning in half by wearing thin t-shirts or other sheer articles of clothing underneath items that require dry-cleaning. You can wear the items a few more times between cleaning. And don’t forget to bring in the hangers for recycling each time you go!

Fluorescent Bulbs…
Cost more upfront, but I’ve NEVER had one burn out. Use less energy, and you know why I started buying them? Regular bulbs have a tendency to blow out when you turn on the lights (at least in old houses). The f-bulbs don’t.

Eat Less…
No, really. Limit your grocery shopping. Don’t buy more food until everything in the house is eaten. Stay away from over-priced pre-packaged stuff like cereal, cookies, and crackers. (It has zero nutritional value anyway.) Buy your wine in the box (love you, Target Wine Cube).

Hey Ladies!
Buy a Keeper or a Diva Cup. (GAH, both of those names are SO awful.) It takes a few months to adjust to, but it’s worth it. You’ll be contributing less to landfills as well as showing the middle finger to an industry that feels like it can rape you by charging $10 for what is basically a box of cotton balls. As a bonus, you'll never be stuck without a tampon and can go a lot longer between visits to the bathroom.

Get a Library Card and Use It…
Less money spent on books, less crap piling up in your house.

Hair dryer?
Stop killing your hair, and start saving money on your energy bill by letting it air dry.

Condoms are cheaper…
…than birth control, and don’t require you to load up your body with chemicals that make you run around like a crazy person.

If you’re not getting laid, might I suggest…
Rechargeable batteries?

Wood Floors…
Easier to keep clean, less dust and crud building up in your house to make you sick! Cheaper too, when you compare the cost of a broom to that of a vacuum cleaner, energy consumption, and bags.

Master your runway walk...
If you can walk instead of drive, do it. Choose to live in a neighborhood that is walking-friendly. (Dear Montrose, you rock!) Saves money on gas - and again, is environmentally kind...as well as friendly to your thighs.

Dogs are a Natural Heater...
Don't buy a dog to save money because that won't happen. However, if you already own one, remember that it also serves as a hot water bottle/electric blanket during winter months. Hey, a dog should earn its keep.

Air-dry your Clothes…
Longer life for your wares and saves you money and energy.

Baking Soda Cleans Everything…
…and costs about $.80 a box.

Carry a Canvas Grocery Bag...
Many stores give you a discount when you don't use the plastic. Again, lurv you, Target.

Get Skinny!
All of your friends will want to feed you.

Got a money-saver that you love? Put it in the comments!

Fact or Fiction?

Fact. If you wash your hair once a week, your oil production levels will even out in about six weeks.

Yep, just tried it. On week five or so. Do you know how much time, water, energy, shampoo, money, etc. that I can save by doing this over a lifetime?

Sweet!

That being said, the first few weeks require wearing a ponytail from day 3-4 on until it all works out. Yeah, it was kinda gross, BUT WORTH IT!

Weekly Haircare Regimen:
Wash the hair on Sunday. Scrub your scalp HARD with the shampoo - you'll need to with all of the dead skin build-up, but remember, the shampoo only goes on the scalp - not the ends. Follow-up with conditioner - JUST on the ends! Let your hair air-dry as you do your weekly household chores like laundry, vacuum, countertops, etc. When it's barely damp, go for the flat-iron. Take your time to make it perfectly straight. That's it, and you're done for the week. All you need each morning is to put a brush through it once or twice. When Saturday rolls around and your hair is getting a little greasy, don't be afraid to be a Robert Palmer girl and slick it back in a bun or ponytail. VOILA! (P.S. - For in-between showering, I've found that putting the hair in a cap is preferable to letting my hair get wet. For some reason, it seems more greasy after just rinsing in water.)

But Still Technologically Retarded...

Yesterday Senior Counsel showed me the little 'trick' of pressing T when scrolling through messages on your blackberry. Boy, do I feel stupid.

Now if only I could find someone to show me how to set up my voicemail on the darn thing.

What? I've only had it for like, six months.

I Bought a Piece of Technology!

I know. Hell must have frozen over, right? I’m a little shocked myself. Despite never having bought a television or a stereo or a vacuum cleaner, I finally did it.

I got a new ipod.

My first ipod was won in a raffle, and I thought it was pretty groovy – because it held SO much more than the MP3 player my dad gave me. BUT, it’s amazing how fast one can get to 4G’s. And that’s how much my little nano held. Prompting the whole venture was the fact that my favorite radio station in Austin puts out a limited edition two-CD set every year of bare bones studio recordings done during SXSW or station visits.

You wanna know which station it is, right? Well, I’m not going to tell you. As I said, they only make a limited number, and the little puppies are hard to get your hands on. All in all, there are seventeen different editions. I’ve bought about six on my own, and since being promoted, have scoured ebay and Amazon every few weeks searching for good deals on used ones. Now I’ve got thirteen of the seventeen, but I was getting annoyed because my ipod was already full, and I couldn't add all my great new music.

No, I’m not going to tell you the name of the albums. Trust me, you probably wouldn’t even like them. They’re like folk and Americana, singer-songwriter stuff. There’s no mainstream or anti-mainstream (i.e. indie rock) music on them.

Anyhoo, I decided to look – just look to see how much I could get a new nano for – 159 smack-a-roos for 16G’s AND it has a radio tuner. No tax and free shipping because I bought it on Amazon…and despite saying it would be two weeks before the item shipped, Amazon mailed it the next day, and I had the little puppy in my hands less than a week later.

ALL of the albums are on there - and I still have a zillion gigs left.

And I love the little Genius device on itunes that creates playlists for me. I had to laugh at the ones they came up with:
Contemporary Folk Mix
Americana Mix
Adult Alternative Mix
Adult Alternative Rock Mix
Classic Rock Mix
Alternative Country Mix
Singer/Songwriter Mix
Traditional Folk Mix
Indie Rock and Lo-Fi Mix (How did *that* get on there?)
Honky Tonk and Outlaw Mix

Me So Happy.




I got the green one.