It was 8:33 pm.
Uh...yeah, I am getting old.
But 8:33? Time to get off my bootie and head to Targee'.
Strolling into the store in my knit gaucho pants (bought at Targee for $11-thanks Weef), and a t-shirt (purchased at a Parisian H&M for $5), and a polar fleece jacket (free courtesy of the Sundance Film Festival) plus plastic flip-flops (Old Navy - $4), I strolled down the aisle to find my wine cube.
It's not like I hadn't been invited out that evening. I mean, it was a Saturday. I had friends, acquaintances. I just didn't really want to get dressed up, brave the cold, and spend forty-five minutes bull-shitting with people on the off chance that I might find a job, a romance, a decent evening.
Heading back to the check-out with my wine cube, I stopped. Ana! It's Saturday night! Live a little! Stroll the aisles. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.
But first, I needed sustenance, and I found it. Usually I get my bread from the bakery, and quite honestly it's the same price or cheaper, but I've been on a Mrs. Baird's kick lately and so...
Wine Cube -$17.99; Peanut Butter $2.59 (they were out of crunchy); Bread $2.99.
So I strolled to electronics. Sometimes I have this bad habit of perusing the DVD aisle. Sure, I could rent something for $4, but then I'd have to return it. (Such a hassle.) For a few dollars more, and a negotiation of shelf space, I could just BUY a movie. I walked up and down the aisles with a frown. Apparently, Targee' had an after-Thanksgiving sale. Multiple DVDs were available for less than $6. However, it was now Saturday, and all of those DVDs were sold out. Up and down. Up and down. I looked not at the title, but at the price tags. I COULD NOT swing anything more than $10. At the end of ten minutes I held three DVDs in my hand: Nacho Libre for $10 (a movie I'd wanted to see in theaters); August Rush (the cheapest DVD still in stock); and Baby Mama ($9 and something I could identify with, but possibly hitting too close too home - minus that whole successful career aspect).
I love Tina..and she kinda looks like me...and despite thinking that I never wanted children, the biological clock has been in overdrive for the last twelve months. You know, Vonnegut used to write about being overtaken by the bad chemicals, and I think he was talking about the will to live, the ability to get out of bed in the morning. I more than understand Kurt's plight, but at the same time, I want to scream, "Try being a chick, Kurt-baby."
Because in addition to Mr. Vonnegut's bad chemicals, I have a whole other set of hormones that's been twisting my life lately. Yes, I wake up every day and think, "Wouldn't it be great if I had a howling, shit-spurting, finance-draining blob of a human being to look after?"
The rational side says, "Ana, really? Wait for the right guy! Wait for the time when you're financially stable. Wait, wait, wait! Hell, wait forever! Why would you even want a kid?"
But some other side says, "NO! MUST HAVE BLOB NOW!"
This must be my penance for laughing at those older, desperate women all those years. HA!
"I will NEVER want to get married, and I will NEVER want to have children," I chuckled at the time.
(Please god, let this just be a long phase in my life.) To the gals still in their mid-twenties, be careful. This crap will sneak up on you.
Nine dollars for a DVD? Such a waste of my money. Then again, it was Saturday night. Party time! Be crazy, Ana! Break out!
I could have gone home, but now it was 8:50 pm. I could justify my evening if only I spent a little more time at the store. Across the aisle from electronics was shoes. Oooh, shoes. A week ago, I was at the Greek Festival and had a meaningful conversation with a four-year-old. She had these great shoes and was running all over the festival in a cute little Greek pink scarf with jingle-jangle coins. If you asked her nicely, she would stop and shake her booty for you.
"Do they make those in Big Girl sizes?" I asked pointing at her pink sneakers.
"Oh yes," she said, flipping her shoe over to expose the sole so that I could take stock of the brand.
In the meantime, I did find the scarf. I haven't worn it out yet, but I like to run through the house at night with it on, my hips shimmering like Shakira in a jingle-jingle-jingle.
I walked across the aisle and headed not to the women's section, but to little girls. When I exited, I had these in hand.
Suede Mary Janes with a wedge -$11.88 - Size Girl's 4 1/2
Fake leather cruiser with awesome plastic pink rhinestones - $16.99 - Size Girls 5
And last but not least, I hit the accessories aisle right across from the check-out. For the past year or so, I've carried nothing but a canvas bag. Perhaps now that I'd graduated, I should graduate to a better bag.
Creepy green bag - $16.08 - When you're eccentric, you can get away with bags like this.
This is in addition to the AWESOME thrift store bag I bought for ten bucks a few weeks ago.
Some snit had the gall to ask me once how I could carry a bag with initials other than my own. At the time, Boy was with me, and he just turned to the girl and said, "What are you talking about? Those are her initials. Ana is one Dirty Mama."
At the end of the night I'd spent $83. Eighty-three dollars that I don't have, but maybe just needed to spend.
What can I say, I had fun. In fact, it may have been one of my most enjoyable evenings in quite awhile. I mean, what gal wouldn't be happy about a purse, two pairs of shoes, a chick flick, a week's worth of food, and the equivalent of 4 bottles of wine all for the low price of $83?
Targee' you may not be a local business, but still I love thee.