I try to keep my posts within the voice of Ana, but since many of my readers are also bloggers, I had to tell this story.
At my graduation, my sibling and their significant other sat me down to tell me about my graduation present.
"Well, we know how much you like to write and blog," they said. "So we got you your own domain, hosting for a year, and free website design."
Holy cow! I was so stoked. My blog could totally get a makeover. I could get out from under blogger. This was seriously like the best gift ever!
"Yeah, and the name of the domain is myrealfirstandlastname.net."
WTF?
I write short stories about a neurotic, flighty single girl who drinks a lot, and you think as an attorney I would post these stories under my own name?
"Well, maybe you could just write about yourself and post stuff for the family?"
Oh yeah. That would be thrilling:
Today I got up, went to work, and drafted a memo. One person at work actually talked to me. Then I came home, ate some cheese, and watched Star Wars movies. I'm very excited because tomorrow I'm going to get the oil changed for my car and it's close to a Sonic sooooo CHERRY LIMEADE HERE WE COME!
That might be more embarrassing than being mistaken for Ana.
I could write journalistic pieces, I suppose - except that I myself never read those types of blog because I find them woefully boring. Chances are, if a random individual is blogging about it, a real reporter has already done a more thorough job somewhere else.
And how awful would it be that any Tom, Dick, Harry, girl-that-hates-me, boyfriend, or internet psycho could find my site just by typing my name into google? (Yeah, it's not the being found by employers thing that bothers me. It's the people who sort-of know you and then silently stalk.) Totally, totally creeps me out.
Of all the domain name possibilities in the world, you picked my own name? And last name - just so there can't be any confusion?!? (And I have a slightly odd name in real life - it's not Anne Smith or anything like that.)
And the worst part was, by the time the conversation was over, I'm sure I had the most horrific look on my face, like the woman whose husband gets her a vacuum for their anniversary - because that's kind of how I felt. Nice sentiment, but I can't do anything with it. In a way, it was almost negligently mean.
Sigh.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Does this guy really exist?
Because seriously, if somewhere out there is an alt-looking, long-haired guy with a scruffy beard who also has a job that requires a suit (meaning he works somewhere other than a coffee shop or a bar) and changes diapers at parties, I WANT HIM.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Discovering your inner 'blah'...
My brain is so empty right now. With finals, graduation, family visits, and the rest, I really needed a break, but the lack of structure over the last few weeks has left me a walking zombie. It’s miserably hot outside right now, so Martha and I just make quick trips to the park instead of our usual extended walks. My circulation fails to get going, and when we get back to the house, I’m still half asleep. I’ve kept the windows drawn to keep out the heat, and it seems like late afternoon all day long.
Once the dog is “walked” I tend to collapse on the couch still in my pj’s and channel surf or watch movies. Yesterday I was up until nearly 4 am watching the entire LOTR extended versions. My butt is still numb.
Because I’ve got plenty of time to do stuff, nothing gets done. The house is a wreck, and there’s zero food in the fridge. I’m down to rice and popcorn which does little to give me energy and instead makes me want to sleep some more. Yesterday, my dinner was a bag of chips purchased at the gas station – the one time I made it out of the house in order to buy cigarettes. There was a grocery store across the street, but comprising a list, crossing four lanes of traffic, and walking up and down aisles was too much effort.
If the phone rings, I groan because I’m stuck in homebody mode. Getting dressed and putting on make-up seems somewhat overwhelming. Plus, drinking just sounds horrific right now. Since I have no thoughts I wish to deaden, drinking causes me to feel extremely bored and stare off into space. My brain needs to be stimulated, not medicated.
I can’t even study for the bar right now because I know it would be pointless. I’m not allowing myself to start until June and even then, I can’t do anything hardcore until July. Having BarBri at 9 am each day has been good for some semblance of regularity in my existence, but doesn’t work so well when you’re staying up until midmorning every day.
I keep asking myself if I’m depressed in some way – about the end of this chapter of life, or in regards to my personal relationships, my finances or otherwise, but I’m fairly certain that I’m not. Perhaps after three years of go-go-go, I just want to sit for a time, not being reflective or nostalgic, not planning for the future or working towards some goal. I suppose I could worry about my state of apathy, but my gut is always much more objective than my mind. Though I cannot understand it at this juncture, there is either a reason or a need for this behavior, and I am content to ride it out until it passes.
Once the dog is “walked” I tend to collapse on the couch still in my pj’s and channel surf or watch movies. Yesterday I was up until nearly 4 am watching the entire LOTR extended versions. My butt is still numb.
Because I’ve got plenty of time to do stuff, nothing gets done. The house is a wreck, and there’s zero food in the fridge. I’m down to rice and popcorn which does little to give me energy and instead makes me want to sleep some more. Yesterday, my dinner was a bag of chips purchased at the gas station – the one time I made it out of the house in order to buy cigarettes. There was a grocery store across the street, but comprising a list, crossing four lanes of traffic, and walking up and down aisles was too much effort.
If the phone rings, I groan because I’m stuck in homebody mode. Getting dressed and putting on make-up seems somewhat overwhelming. Plus, drinking just sounds horrific right now. Since I have no thoughts I wish to deaden, drinking causes me to feel extremely bored and stare off into space. My brain needs to be stimulated, not medicated.
I can’t even study for the bar right now because I know it would be pointless. I’m not allowing myself to start until June and even then, I can’t do anything hardcore until July. Having BarBri at 9 am each day has been good for some semblance of regularity in my existence, but doesn’t work so well when you’re staying up until midmorning every day.
I keep asking myself if I’m depressed in some way – about the end of this chapter of life, or in regards to my personal relationships, my finances or otherwise, but I’m fairly certain that I’m not. Perhaps after three years of go-go-go, I just want to sit for a time, not being reflective or nostalgic, not planning for the future or working towards some goal. I suppose I could worry about my state of apathy, but my gut is always much more objective than my mind. Though I cannot understand it at this juncture, there is either a reason or a need for this behavior, and I am content to ride it out until it passes.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I guess you could say I'm eclectic?
Back at the video store today, I was having difficulty choosing a title and asked the employee for a suggestion.
"Oh sure," he said, "No problem. We have a program for that."
A program? Yeah, a program that analyzes all of your past rentals and then suggests movies for you.
Here they are:
Drama
Enemies, a Love Story
Four Last Songs
Loggerheads
Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
The Myth of Fingerprints
The Trial
Comedy
Crush
Husbands and Wives
Kissing a Fool
She's the One
The TV Set
Walking and Talking
Foreign
Lacombe, Lucien
Paradise Now
The Mirror or maybe The Mirror
The Sacrifice
Tokyo Twilight
Vodka Lemon
Documentary
Danielson: A Family Movie
The Devil and Daniel Johnston
The Prisoner or: How I planned to Kill Tony Blair
Wild Man Blues
You're Gonna Miss Me
Zizek!
Classics
Black Narcissus
Nanook of the North
The Importance of Being Earnest
The Man in the White Suite
The Passion of Joan of Arc
Young Mr. Lincoln
New Release
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Day Zero
Eagle vs. Shark
Lake of Fire
Lars and the Real Girl
My Kid Could Paint That
Rocket Science
The Real Dirt on Farmer John
The Savages
There Will Be Blood
Wristcutters: A Love Story
I've had people tell me I'm odd, but never before has a computer called me a freak.
That being said, I kinda liked my list.
Review #1 - Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
Let's just say that the biography of a petite, before-her-time, barb-tongued writer with a penchant for unavailable men, razor blades, and liquor hit a little too close to home and prevents me from writing an objective review.
"Oh sure," he said, "No problem. We have a program for that."
A program? Yeah, a program that analyzes all of your past rentals and then suggests movies for you.
Here they are:
Drama
Enemies, a Love Story
Four Last Songs
Loggerheads
Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
The Myth of Fingerprints
The Trial
Comedy
Crush
Husbands and Wives
Kissing a Fool
She's the One
The TV Set
Walking and Talking
Foreign
Lacombe, Lucien
Paradise Now
The Mirror or maybe The Mirror
The Sacrifice
Tokyo Twilight
Vodka Lemon
Documentary
Danielson: A Family Movie
The Devil and Daniel Johnston
The Prisoner or: How I planned to Kill Tony Blair
Wild Man Blues
You're Gonna Miss Me
Zizek!
Classics
Black Narcissus
Nanook of the North
The Importance of Being Earnest
The Man in the White Suite
The Passion of Joan of Arc
Young Mr. Lincoln
New Release
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Day Zero
Eagle vs. Shark
Lake of Fire
Lars and the Real Girl
My Kid Could Paint That
Rocket Science
The Real Dirt on Farmer John
The Savages
There Will Be Blood
Wristcutters: A Love Story
I've had people tell me I'm odd, but never before has a computer called me a freak.
That being said, I kinda liked my list.
Review #1 - Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
Let's just say that the biography of a petite, before-her-time, barb-tongued writer with a penchant for unavailable men, razor blades, and liquor hit a little too close to home and prevents me from writing an objective review.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
It's been awhile since I said...
thanks, dear readers!
Esp., LA, San Fran, NYC, Chi-town, and Houston! ;-) Oh, and of course, BOSTON.
You make me feel loved.
[Locations of the 100 most recent hits today]
Esp., LA, San Fran, NYC, Chi-town, and Houston! ;-) Oh, and of course, BOSTON.
You make me feel loved.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
barbri...wheeee!!!
Shortly after graduation, I realized that many of my friends were enrolled in class. Classes for what, I asked. Weren’t we all done?
PMBR.
What the heck was PMBR?
A multi-state examination class which covers 40% of the bar exam.
You mean that isn’t covered in the $2500 I spent on BarBri?
No.
Forget it. I wasn’t about to fork over more money to sit in an over-refrigerated room six hours a day just forty-eight hours after graduation.
On Monday Wine-Time-Girl and I trekked down to the BarBri office to pick up our materials. BarBri could have saved us the trouble of finding and paying for parking in a downtown setting by bringing the materials to class the first day, but apparently that is not covered in the $2500 tuition.
After we’d negotiated parking for WTG’s Montana-sized pick-up truck and were heading towards the building, we spied a muscular guy struggling to carry a moving-sized box, the side of which read BARBRI.
“We’re so toast,” said WTG, “We’ll never be able to carry that.”
Yet still we charted onward and once inside the building were accosted by big blaring signs which announced:
DO NOT PARK IN RESERVE SPACES!!!!!
BE SURE TO PAY FOR PARKING!!!!
YOU WILL BE TICKETED, TOWED, OR BOOTED!!!
These signs were also in the elevator and on the door to the BarBri office. Again, this would be easier if BarBri brought our books to class rather than having 1000 anxious students descend upon a downtown office building for two minutes. I stood in line until a woman handed me my admission ticket.
“You will need to show this at the entrance every day,” she said. “If you lose it, there’s a $50 replacement fee.”
Excuse me? I just forked over $2500 and you want me to pay $50 if I lose a computer printout? Granted, I’m sure the reason for doing this is to prevent people from passing their ticket off to others who have decided to forgo the major expense and just sneak in, BUT if I wanted to do this, I could probably get MORE than $50. If I honestly lose the thing, I get nothing. Why not just keep track of the people who lose their tickets? Or put a UPC code on the ticket and scan it everyday? Surely, Barbri could afford such a set-up.
Did I want to sign up for the special two-day course that covered 10% of the bar exam?
That isn’t part of my $2500?
No.
Pass.
I will not even describe the process of dragging the boxes to the car, but suffice to say, I will probably need some type of physical therapy as a result of the experience. Perhaps during this month-long extravaganza BarBri will teach me how to properly sue them for my injury.
Class started today at 9 am. I woke up at 8:30 to the sound of my phone going crazy because three different people wondered where I was. I got there at 9:05, sunglasses on and large coffee in hand – just as the speaker started.
My apologies to the girl in the ironed shirt and shorts with hair and make-up who sat next to my un-showered being. Tomorrow I suggest you spend a little less time on preparation so you can get there earlier and sit with the girls who think that having shaved legs for a bar review class is a priority. As a bonus, I bet none of them will make googly eyes across the table to their fairy-god-brother or keep themselves awake by sticking their finger up their nose as a form of self-entertainment or laugh at the idiocy of the speaker’s inane jokes.
Actually, now that I think about it, Barbri was pretty fun. And since I will be spending four hours a day in class, I will feel like I am studying – which will free up the rest of the day for more important things like reading literature, drinking gin martinis, and attempting to touch my nose with my tongue.
Something tells me this is going to be a good summer.
PMBR.
What the heck was PMBR?
A multi-state examination class which covers 40% of the bar exam.
You mean that isn’t covered in the $2500 I spent on BarBri?
No.
Forget it. I wasn’t about to fork over more money to sit in an over-refrigerated room six hours a day just forty-eight hours after graduation.
On Monday Wine-Time-Girl and I trekked down to the BarBri office to pick up our materials. BarBri could have saved us the trouble of finding and paying for parking in a downtown setting by bringing the materials to class the first day, but apparently that is not covered in the $2500 tuition.
After we’d negotiated parking for WTG’s Montana-sized pick-up truck and were heading towards the building, we spied a muscular guy struggling to carry a moving-sized box, the side of which read BARBRI.
“We’re so toast,” said WTG, “We’ll never be able to carry that.”
Yet still we charted onward and once inside the building were accosted by big blaring signs which announced:
DO NOT PARK IN RESERVE SPACES!!!!!
BE SURE TO PAY FOR PARKING!!!!
YOU WILL BE TICKETED, TOWED, OR BOOTED!!!
These signs were also in the elevator and on the door to the BarBri office. Again, this would be easier if BarBri brought our books to class rather than having 1000 anxious students descend upon a downtown office building for two minutes. I stood in line until a woman handed me my admission ticket.
“You will need to show this at the entrance every day,” she said. “If you lose it, there’s a $50 replacement fee.”
Excuse me? I just forked over $2500 and you want me to pay $50 if I lose a computer printout? Granted, I’m sure the reason for doing this is to prevent people from passing their ticket off to others who have decided to forgo the major expense and just sneak in, BUT if I wanted to do this, I could probably get MORE than $50. If I honestly lose the thing, I get nothing. Why not just keep track of the people who lose their tickets? Or put a UPC code on the ticket and scan it everyday? Surely, Barbri could afford such a set-up.
Did I want to sign up for the special two-day course that covered 10% of the bar exam?
That isn’t part of my $2500?
No.
Pass.
I will not even describe the process of dragging the boxes to the car, but suffice to say, I will probably need some type of physical therapy as a result of the experience. Perhaps during this month-long extravaganza BarBri will teach me how to properly sue them for my injury.
Class started today at 9 am. I woke up at 8:30 to the sound of my phone going crazy because three different people wondered where I was. I got there at 9:05, sunglasses on and large coffee in hand – just as the speaker started.
My apologies to the girl in the ironed shirt and shorts with hair and make-up who sat next to my un-showered being. Tomorrow I suggest you spend a little less time on preparation so you can get there earlier and sit with the girls who think that having shaved legs for a bar review class is a priority. As a bonus, I bet none of them will make googly eyes across the table to their fairy-god-brother or keep themselves awake by sticking their finger up their nose as a form of self-entertainment or laugh at the idiocy of the speaker’s inane jokes.
Actually, now that I think about it, Barbri was pretty fun. And since I will be spending four hours a day in class, I will feel like I am studying – which will free up the rest of the day for more important things like reading literature, drinking gin martinis, and attempting to touch my nose with my tongue.
Something tells me this is going to be a good summer.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I guess this means I'm a lawyer...
I checked my grades today, and only one is in. Want to know where it is? Flat on the curve (thus lowering my GPA). My first response? Did I think I should have studied more? No. Did I reproach my already delicate psyche? No. Instead, my immediate thought was, "I should sue the bastard that gave me that grade."
Friday, May 16, 2008
Couch-vegging...
The fam finally left and I spent the day on the couch in a movie-watching marathon. What I didn't realize when I swept through the video store plucking up DVDs without reading the back is that I having an amazing knack to find the most depressing movies in the world.
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - The back of the box has excerpts that say "remarkable and inspiring true story about the awesome power of imagination" and "triumphant tale." Guess what, the box lies! This movie will make you want to kill yourself. I did not realize that the main character never got better and wrote the entire book by dictation by flashing one eyelid. I also did not realize that after a year of tireless effort, he died of pneumonia. I like honest portrayals, but geez. After watching this movie last night, I didn't get out of bed today until 2 pm. A better title to this movie might be, "Life's a bitch and then you die."
The Good Girl - This is an old Jenn Aniston flick about a woman who's stuck in life. She never went to college, works at a cosmetic counter in a Wal*Mart-type store, and comes home every night to a pot-head, house-painting husband. I thought it might be a Kate Chopin-Awakening-type of story, but it's not. The characters are so ignorant that at times you feel as if the writer is mocking them even in attempts to be sincere. It's hard to feel sorry for the Aniston character because instead of accepting responsibility for her errors, she creates havoc for the people she's gotten herself involved with. The troubled/angst-ridden young man (played by Jake Gyl-however-you-spell-it) she has an affair with commits suicide when she turns him into the police after a robbery. Afterwards the Aniston character decides that she need not seek out a different life. Rather, she just decides that her sucky life could be suckier. I spent the whole movie wondering why the Jake character fell for the Aniston one rather than the Zooey Deschanel character. Another title for this movie could be, "Your own life doesn't seem so bad once you ruin everyone else's."
The Darjeeling Limited - What is it about Wes Anderson that makes him so deadset on turning his films into cliches? Each movie he puts out is a sadder, cheaper, more superficial imitation of the last one. Rushmore was so good. This movie is so painful. The baggage metaphor was the one entertaining part of the movie, but even that was a little too blatant and overdone at moments - kind of like a Salman Rushdie novel which makes it all the more entertaining and ironic given that the movie takes place in India. I can't bash Anderson too much though - it's hard to show the emotional depth of characters who have none in a movie that has a theme but no plot. Anderson seems so caught up in the art of telling a story that he forgot to create the story itself.
Everything is Illuminated - Holy light at the end of the tunnel. I expected that this movie would be awful since it didn't do well in theaters, but it turned out to be my favorite. Despite the holocaust-flashbacks + present-day suicide scene + did I mention holocaust, this movie was so cute and funny. The dog is awesome, the tour guide hilarious, the characters flawed, and yet, endearing. The shots are beautiful. Plus, Elijah Wood is a cutie, even as a buttoned-up nerd in big glasses who catalogs his life with objects in ziploc baggies.
Suggestions for a better watch-party? I like serious movies with reflective characters. The ending doesn't need to be totally happy, but a movement towards self-actualization would be nice. For example, Wonder Boys is one of my favorite movies. Secretary is one of my favorite romantic comedies. Oh, and I love weird fantasy movies - Time Bandits, LOTR, Conan, Dune, etc. Legend sucked though.
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - The back of the box has excerpts that say "remarkable and inspiring true story about the awesome power of imagination" and "triumphant tale." Guess what, the box lies! This movie will make you want to kill yourself. I did not realize that the main character never got better and wrote the entire book by dictation by flashing one eyelid. I also did not realize that after a year of tireless effort, he died of pneumonia. I like honest portrayals, but geez. After watching this movie last night, I didn't get out of bed today until 2 pm. A better title to this movie might be, "Life's a bitch and then you die."
The Good Girl - This is an old Jenn Aniston flick about a woman who's stuck in life. She never went to college, works at a cosmetic counter in a Wal*Mart-type store, and comes home every night to a pot-head, house-painting husband. I thought it might be a Kate Chopin-Awakening-type of story, but it's not. The characters are so ignorant that at times you feel as if the writer is mocking them even in attempts to be sincere. It's hard to feel sorry for the Aniston character because instead of accepting responsibility for her errors, she creates havoc for the people she's gotten herself involved with. The troubled/angst-ridden young man (played by Jake Gyl-however-you-spell-it) she has an affair with commits suicide when she turns him into the police after a robbery. Afterwards the Aniston character decides that she need not seek out a different life. Rather, she just decides that her sucky life could be suckier. I spent the whole movie wondering why the Jake character fell for the Aniston one rather than the Zooey Deschanel character. Another title for this movie could be, "Your own life doesn't seem so bad once you ruin everyone else's."
The Darjeeling Limited - What is it about Wes Anderson that makes him so deadset on turning his films into cliches? Each movie he puts out is a sadder, cheaper, more superficial imitation of the last one. Rushmore was so good. This movie is so painful. The baggage metaphor was the one entertaining part of the movie, but even that was a little too blatant and overdone at moments - kind of like a Salman Rushdie novel which makes it all the more entertaining and ironic given that the movie takes place in India. I can't bash Anderson too much though - it's hard to show the emotional depth of characters who have none in a movie that has a theme but no plot. Anderson seems so caught up in the art of telling a story that he forgot to create the story itself.
Everything is Illuminated - Holy light at the end of the tunnel. I expected that this movie would be awful since it didn't do well in theaters, but it turned out to be my favorite. Despite the holocaust-flashbacks + present-day suicide scene + did I mention holocaust, this movie was so cute and funny. The dog is awesome, the tour guide hilarious, the characters flawed, and yet, endearing. The shots are beautiful. Plus, Elijah Wood is a cutie, even as a buttoned-up nerd in big glasses who catalogs his life with objects in ziploc baggies.
Suggestions for a better watch-party? I like serious movies with reflective characters. The ending doesn't need to be totally happy, but a movement towards self-actualization would be nice. For example, Wonder Boys is one of my favorite movies. Secretary is one of my favorite romantic comedies. Oh, and I love weird fantasy movies - Time Bandits, LOTR, Conan, Dune, etc. Legend sucked though.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Third final done. Last one is tomorrow. I've been a see-saw of emotions all day and just keep telling myself that this will all be over shortly. I think I overdid it on this round, and if I end up making good grades, I'm not sure it will have been worth the effort or the anxiety. (Grades have never struck me as a reflection of myself so much as a tool of perception for others; a tool which is not always particularly accurate. This makes finding a source of motivation somewhat difficult at times.) Strangely, if I make bad grades my response will probably be, "Well, don't beat yourself up. You were kind of a wreck during that period."
I think I need a valium. Unfortunately, I don't take prescription drugs (unless highly ill) and stick to wine and cigarettes for self-medication. Again, unfortunately, I don't drink starting 24 hours before the first exam. (This equates to a binge-like episode just prior and immediately after, but oh well, I was extremely entertained by my behavior. Fictionalized reading material to follow at some point. Sometimes I wonder if I create conflict just for the sake of a good story.) As the cigarettes make me jumpy, I've cut down on them too given my stress level. Basically, I want to either take a 36 hour nap or otherwise kill someone right now.
Breathe in. Breathe out. It will soon be over...and then the fun gets to start. Amazingly enough, I am one of those people who actually prefers working to school. I love learning, but I need the structure that comes with having a full-time job. I am shall we say much 'saner' when employed. I can do it. I can make it.
I think I need a valium. Unfortunately, I don't take prescription drugs (unless highly ill) and stick to wine and cigarettes for self-medication. Again, unfortunately, I don't drink starting 24 hours before the first exam. (This equates to a binge-like episode just prior and immediately after, but oh well, I was extremely entertained by my behavior. Fictionalized reading material to follow at some point. Sometimes I wonder if I create conflict just for the sake of a good story.) As the cigarettes make me jumpy, I've cut down on them too given my stress level. Basically, I want to either take a 36 hour nap or otherwise kill someone right now.
Breathe in. Breathe out. It will soon be over...and then the fun gets to start. Amazingly enough, I am one of those people who actually prefers working to school. I love learning, but I need the structure that comes with having a full-time job. I am shall we say much 'saner' when employed. I can do it. I can make it.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
You know your a 3L when...
...you have an exam the next day, and your only anxiety in relation to it is whether or not you will accidentally sleep through it.
My creativity is a little shot right now...
...what is everyone else getting their mom for mother's day?
Please Excuse the Grumpiness!
If my posts seem a little on edge lately, there's a reason. No, I'm not particularly worried about my grades or my exams. I just can't seem to sleep. For the last three nights around midnight I've crawled into bed exhausted and ready for rejuvenation...and then sat and stared at the ceiling...until at least 4:30 am every night. No idea what's causing the insomnia. I've cut down on caffeine, practiced ten zillion relaxation techniques, counted backwards from 100...nothing seems to work.
I feel like a zombie. An irritated, agitated zombie. Who really likes life and wants to enjoy these last few days of law school.
My apologies.
I feel like a zombie. An irritated, agitated zombie. Who really likes life and wants to enjoy these last few days of law school.
My apologies.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Why you shouldn't take health law classes...
Need to read something from a medical journal? No problem. Westlaw has all that stuff, right? And as a student, you get everything, right? Wrong. I can't tell you how many times in the last couple days I've gotten this lovely message:
We cannot process your request because access to these materials is not authorized under your subscription agreement.
We cannot process your request because access to these materials is not authorized under your subscription agreement.
Guilt...
Owner, when are you going to stop studying and come out to play?
Despite standard definitions indicating the contrary, I feel like the bitch in this situation.
For the record, I have not enclosed her in the crate. Rather, she is camping out there in protest and refusing to lie in her dog bed next to my desk.
Despite standard definitions indicating the contrary, I feel like the bitch in this situation.
For the record, I have not enclosed her in the crate. Rather, she is camping out there in protest and refusing to lie in her dog bed next to my desk.
From the administration:
"Students should not leave items in the [Private Study] Rooms for extended periods of time. If you are leaving, please remove all of your belongings. I realize this is great study space, but it is not fair to others for you to attempt to “mark your territory.” Currently, there is no time limit on how long law students can study in the rooms, but if people continue to abuse the space we will have to set some restrictions."
Dear Administration:
This is what you get when you decide that you want to improve your US News ranking and start admitting students based solely on GPA/LSAT scores rather than character. Getting cut-off by others in the parking lot on a near daily basis after never having any problems my first two years has also been a joy. And what's up with the rampant stealing all of the sudden? Seems like every day I get a new email telling me to keep an eye on my stuff.
I remain affectionately yours.
Kisses,
Ana
PS - Since you are now recruiting all of these super-duper achievement-oriented kids who think money is the great brass ring, I will assume that little hippies like me are off the hook for alumni donations. Congrats on climbing 15 slots in the rankings since my admission. I hope you're happy and you deserve all of the just rewards which stem from it. Also, if the dean could stop flooding my inbox with emails chronicling the number of Ivy league undergrads and high LSAT scores, that would be great. Such information has absolutely no bearing on either my quality of education nor the quality of individual attending the school. Thanks.
"Students should not leave items in the [Private Study] Rooms for extended periods of time. If you are leaving, please remove all of your belongings. I realize this is great study space, but it is not fair to others for you to attempt to “mark your territory.” Currently, there is no time limit on how long law students can study in the rooms, but if people continue to abuse the space we will have to set some restrictions."
Dear Administration:
This is what you get when you decide that you want to improve your US News ranking and start admitting students based solely on GPA/LSAT scores rather than character. Getting cut-off by others in the parking lot on a near daily basis after never having any problems my first two years has also been a joy. And what's up with the rampant stealing all of the sudden? Seems like every day I get a new email telling me to keep an eye on my stuff.
I remain affectionately yours.
Kisses,
Ana
PS - Since you are now recruiting all of these super-duper achievement-oriented kids who think money is the great brass ring, I will assume that little hippies like me are off the hook for alumni donations. Congrats on climbing 15 slots in the rankings since my admission. I hope you're happy and you deserve all of the just rewards which stem from it. Also, if the dean could stop flooding my inbox with emails chronicling the number of Ivy league undergrads and high LSAT scores, that would be great. Such information has absolutely no bearing on either my quality of education nor the quality of individual attending the school. Thanks.
Easy to Please...
Last night, something rolled under the bed, and I grabbed my broom to go retrieve it. This process also turned up one Kong ball and no less than FIVE tennis balls.
Can I just tell you, the kid is in heaven today. Heaven! She is running all over the house, multiple tennis balls flying everywhere.
Can I just tell you, the kid is in heaven today. Heaven! She is running all over the house, multiple tennis balls flying everywhere.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Why the Dog is Awesome...
During exam period, I always start off studying at school, but once I’ve found my groove, I switch over to studying at home. After a particularly long, boring day in exclusion, I thought I might need a change of scenery and headed over to the law center. There were things I needed to print out anyway, so I just took a textbook with me thinking I’d stay after the completion.
When I opened the door to the study area, it hit me like a wave before I even placed eyes on anyone in the room.
Tension. Fear. Distress.
No big deal, I figured. Once I got going, the others would be blocked out and wouldn’t affect me. While waiting for my computer to boot, the feelings of an unknown guy in the room filtered into my head.
He was sick with glee. No one noticed this guy. No one gave him the time of day, but boy was he going to prove everyone wrong. He knew everything, he was studying his butt off, and he was going to obliterate everyone else on the exam.
Geez dude, take it easy.
But he continued. After he got these great grades, he was going to get the big job. He was going to be big shot lawyer, and then, then everyone would have to pay attention to him. Everyone would finally treat him with the respect he deserved. He was going to show them, that was for sure.
I popped my head up and glanced around. Who was this goofball? I couldn’t tell. Waiting for Westlaw to load, his thoughts went on and on. I was about to announce to the room that no one gave a shit what grades he got when I was interrupted by the feelings of another guy. This one was scared. He’d goofed off the entire semester and now he was worried he might fail. Worse yet, he’d done badly last semester and his parents had been none too happy with him. Now it was going to happen again. What was he going to do? He didn’t even want to be at law school to begin with. His parents wanted him to go, but what was he going to do with his life if he left law school?
How the heck do people study in here?!?
Darn it. The printer was out of paper. Somewhere between refilling the ream and walking back to my carrel I picked up a girl. She had some kind of fight with her boyfriend or spouse. Things were tense in the house because she’d been studying so much. She felt guilty for being there, but she had to study. That’s just the way it was. How could he be so upset? She was going to be the breadwinner after all. Why was this guy always so selfish? Was this ever going to change?
Again I raised my head, this time to yell “Shut up, People!” only when I did, I realized the room was completely silent. When the printing was done, I packed up my stuff and hauled out of the building.
Back at home, I sat at my desk feeling tense. I’d left the people in the room, but they hadn’t left me. WHY had I gone up to school? I’d been fine, felt happy. Now I was ready to cry. My neck hurt. I needed a massage. Suddenly I felt something land in my lap and I looked down.
A tennis ball.
With a casual glance to my right I noticed Martha sitting next to me, staring up with hopeful eyes.
We went outside for a game of fetch, and it all went away.
When I opened the door to the study area, it hit me like a wave before I even placed eyes on anyone in the room.
Tension. Fear. Distress.
No big deal, I figured. Once I got going, the others would be blocked out and wouldn’t affect me. While waiting for my computer to boot, the feelings of an unknown guy in the room filtered into my head.
He was sick with glee. No one noticed this guy. No one gave him the time of day, but boy was he going to prove everyone wrong. He knew everything, he was studying his butt off, and he was going to obliterate everyone else on the exam.
Geez dude, take it easy.
But he continued. After he got these great grades, he was going to get the big job. He was going to be big shot lawyer, and then, then everyone would have to pay attention to him. Everyone would finally treat him with the respect he deserved. He was going to show them, that was for sure.
I popped my head up and glanced around. Who was this goofball? I couldn’t tell. Waiting for Westlaw to load, his thoughts went on and on. I was about to announce to the room that no one gave a shit what grades he got when I was interrupted by the feelings of another guy. This one was scared. He’d goofed off the entire semester and now he was worried he might fail. Worse yet, he’d done badly last semester and his parents had been none too happy with him. Now it was going to happen again. What was he going to do? He didn’t even want to be at law school to begin with. His parents wanted him to go, but what was he going to do with his life if he left law school?
How the heck do people study in here?!?
Darn it. The printer was out of paper. Somewhere between refilling the ream and walking back to my carrel I picked up a girl. She had some kind of fight with her boyfriend or spouse. Things were tense in the house because she’d been studying so much. She felt guilty for being there, but she had to study. That’s just the way it was. How could he be so upset? She was going to be the breadwinner after all. Why was this guy always so selfish? Was this ever going to change?
Again I raised my head, this time to yell “Shut up, People!” only when I did, I realized the room was completely silent. When the printing was done, I packed up my stuff and hauled out of the building.
Back at home, I sat at my desk feeling tense. I’d left the people in the room, but they hadn’t left me. WHY had I gone up to school? I’d been fine, felt happy. Now I was ready to cry. My neck hurt. I needed a massage. Suddenly I felt something land in my lap and I looked down.
A tennis ball.
With a casual glance to my right I noticed Martha sitting next to me, staring up with hopeful eyes.
We went outside for a game of fetch, and it all went away.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
When Do You Tell Yourself to Stop?
I've covered about 450 pages worth of International Crim Law today. I'm telling myself that I need to cover 250 more. The problem is, I'm really tired and wondering if doing so will make much of a difference. Clearly, I've already put a lot of time in. The next two days are already reserved for my other class, but I do have ALL of Tuesday blocked out for ICL. I was planning to make a more cohesive outline on that day. Right now I have about 20 pages of notes from class and all I've done today is read and review. (I could have outlined during this process, but then I wouldn't have covered 450 pages.) My last 250 pages are the beginning of the book and the parts I already know the best, much of it learned in prior int'l law classes - but review is sorely needed.
The weird thing is, I really love exam period. My school doesn't do reading days. My last day of class was on a Monday. The exam for that class was Wednesday. And the prof included stuff from the last day on the exam! The dead heat of it all is awesome. There's a clear finish line, and it's so easy to egg yourself on a little bit more. And for some bizarre reason I sit through the entire semester staring at the ceiling wondering what's going on only to watch it all come together in the last few days. Suddenly everything makes sense and is clear. (No telling why I can't do this until two weeks out.) At the end of each exam, I pile my materials from that class in a chair in the living room. With each additional final, I look at the stack with pride. I can't believe how much information we absorb every semester. It's pretty neat.
The weird thing is, I really love exam period. My school doesn't do reading days. My last day of class was on a Monday. The exam for that class was Wednesday. And the prof included stuff from the last day on the exam! The dead heat of it all is awesome. There's a clear finish line, and it's so easy to egg yourself on a little bit more. And for some bizarre reason I sit through the entire semester staring at the ceiling wondering what's going on only to watch it all come together in the last few days. Suddenly everything makes sense and is clear. (No telling why I can't do this until two weeks out.) At the end of each exam, I pile my materials from that class in a chair in the living room. With each additional final, I look at the stack with pride. I can't believe how much information we absorb every semester. It's pretty neat.
More Reasons to Hate Finals...
At 4:30 pm today I decided to take a break from studying and get out of my pajamas, take a shower and change my underwear. After exiting the shower I applied lotion to my legs only to discover that I'd shaved the right leg twice and completely missed the left one.
Friday, May 02, 2008
When will this be over?
I decided to take a short break and pulled out my latest copy of the New Yorker. Half way through Sedaris' article about smoking I realized I was highlighting.
Okay, so we've now completed two papers, one research project, and two finals with two finals to go. I feel like I'm in the homestretch.
My take home final was a little odd. It wasn't difficult, just comprehensive. I think in-class finals are much better. Give me a three hour time limit in which I can sprint. The 24-hour take home final feels like a 24-hour sprint. There were philosophical questions which sent me off on grand tangents. Last night I thought one part was great while the other portion stunk. Today I felt the exact opposite, and I also felt like my writing made me come across as ignorant even though I was trying to discuss the views of the general population as opposed to those of my own. Sigh. Hopefully the prof won't read it and think I'm a nazi. I was trying to say that intellectuals can debate ethical and moral issues until we turn blue in the face, but it doesn't make a difference if the general public sees things differently. Did this have anything to do with analyzing the actual material on the final? Probably not! Oh Ana.
My take home final was a little odd. It wasn't difficult, just comprehensive. I think in-class finals are much better. Give me a three hour time limit in which I can sprint. The 24-hour take home final feels like a 24-hour sprint. There were philosophical questions which sent me off on grand tangents. Last night I thought one part was great while the other portion stunk. Today I felt the exact opposite, and I also felt like my writing made me come across as ignorant even though I was trying to discuss the views of the general population as opposed to those of my own. Sigh. Hopefully the prof won't read it and think I'm a nazi. I was trying to say that intellectuals can debate ethical and moral issues until we turn blue in the face, but it doesn't make a difference if the general public sees things differently. Did this have anything to do with analyzing the actual material on the final? Probably not! Oh Ana.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
bleh...
I'm in the middle of a take home exam - which I'm writing on Word. A few minutes ago, I clicked on print preview in order to see how far down the page I was. The darn thing froze. It's still frozen, and I'm trying to decide whether to shut Word down (in which case I lose some of what I'd written) or wait (for who knows how long) for it to come back to life.
I can't wait for finals to be over!
I can't wait for finals to be over!
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