The No-Accidents Streak has been broken...

As you may remember, Martha only ever goes in the house when I don't have an eye on her, and it usually has nothing to do with how recently she's been out.

I usually take her outside about twenty-thirty minutes after feeding her. Today I let it go thirty-one minutes. Around the twenty minute mark I saw Martha head downstairs to the front door and didn't think much of it. When I went to take her out I smelled something funny, but nothing was obvious on the tile floor. I pulled up my carpeted floor mat - it was wet. Egad. Part of me feels like this was my fault and part of me knows that she can wait a stinkin' thirty minutes before being let out.

So flash forward two hours later and I notice that Martha's heading down the stairs again. I run down there and the carpet again appears to be wet - although who knows since I doused it with vinegar after we came back from the walk. The floor mat has now been removed so that we can check for accidents in the future.

If she's going to go in the house, she's picked the best spot. At the same time, if she's going in the house, it better because I'm being tortured in the basement of the law building and she has gone 15 hours without being let out. I read somewhere that every time you have an accident, it sets you back a couple of days in the house-training department. Sigh. She was on Day 8 - phooey!

I think the dog is feeling neglected...

She's been really good the past few days while her owner has been present, but virtually unable to play with her. She might be at the end of it all though. She keeps walking up to me, sitting down, whimpering, and occasionally licking me - as if to say, "REALLY, I NEED SOME LOVE. NOW."

Don't we all.

Sitting down is her new thing. She knows I get really excited when she responds to 'sit' so now she sits on her own whenever she's trying to be good or get attention.

Why Ana should have majored in Liberal Arts...

...Proxy Rules - I didn't quite understand them as a Finance undergrad and I still don't grasp them now. I get the gist; I just don't understand all of the hoopla surrounding the process. What's even more stupid is that I'm currently signed up for another business-type class next semester. I never can stand the subject matter of these classes. You would think after taking six years worth of business-stuff I would just give up, right? Someone please smack me hard if on this blog I ever ponder getting an MBA. Just say, "No, Ana. You want an MFA."

Go-go-go!

Okay, the paper that has been the bane of my existence all semester is finally turned in. Scratch one more item off the list.

Now all papers are done and we are just cruising through material for exams...

After feeling crappy yesterday, I downshifted a little bit. Took an Airborne (love those things), took a nap, and made sure to smoke less and eat healthy food for the rest of the day. I crashed at 10:30 pm and woke up today feeling much better. Illness got me a little bit behind on my review reading, but thankfully I created a teensy bit of cushion time after my final on May 2nd. (I didn't schedule anything that day except for the final - so I've got the whole afternoon if I'm not half-dead.)

At any rate, i'm feeling ten times better just knowing that the paper is no longer on the radar. I got a second wind as a result and review is flying by. Thankfully, less time is required to review as you get near the end of the material since it was read recently. I didn't allow for that so it's coming in really handy.

You can't plan everything...

This just seems to be the finals season of unexpected road blocks.

On top of everything else, I'm now starting to get sick.

We are now truly in 'just get through it' mode.

I just need to make it to noon on May 3rd. Then I can give myself a little rest.

Shoot me now...

So I think I've told you guys my method of studying before, but here it is again.

I don't do outlines - I never include enough details when I've tried.
I don't do other people's outlines - accuracy is kind of an issue on these.
I don't do commercial outlines - it weirds me out to see the use of different terminology.

During the semester I read all of the material in a timely manner. Then, a few days before the final, I go back and read all of it again.

I've tried other methods and this is the one that works the best for me, but can I just tell you - IT SUCKS RIGHT NOW.

The first bamboozle was having a four-credit final at 9 am on Wed and then another closed-book final at 9 am on Thursday. Then came the unexpected changes to papers.

So guess what I've been doing ALLLLLL day?

One class has 31 reading assignments. As of right now, I've reread 12 of them.

The other has 25 and I've reread 6.

Only 38 more assignments to go! YAY! BEING TOTALLY SARCASTIC HERE!

And now (!) I'm going to do some proofreading for my seminar paper and probably notice that about 5 million cites are missing.

I so love my life.

And I'm single!

Oh wait, that's a plus.

My dog still kicks ass. ...And she's definitely MY DOG. Yesterday I had music playing and at some point switched to Rachmaninoff. A few minutes after it started she walked over to the speaker and sat down. Alas, it wasn't Piano Concerto No. 2, but I still give her props.

Funny Little dog....

I know you're not supposed to use treats too much in training, but Martha really seemed to be struggling with the command 'sit' so I decided to give it a go.

Two days later Martha still doesn't understand the command 'sit,' but she does sit down any time she thinks I've got food in my hands.

It's always nice...

At the end of each semester before I sit down to study I have a minor freakout session where I feel like I don't know anything. Then I pull up my notes and open my book to realize, "Oh yeah. I remember this!"

It's definitely helping with my sanity today!

The Race is on...

(Martha featured center at recent doggie playdate.)

One paper is finished and the second is on the agenda for completion – hopefully just finishing touches tomorrow. I managed to write enough more so that I could remove all the references to women and still reach the page minimum since my prof said that regulation of women’s bodies was irrelevant to the regulation of embryos. As a woman I’m still insulted, but hey, you gotta pick your battles, right? After this we’ll be doing the “power-study” for four finals. I’ve got one on Wednesday and a closed-book exam the next morning. Those will be the real kickers. I’m starting my intensive studying later than planned thanks to the prof who decided to assign a paper in the last two weeks of class. (Let’s hear it for my wonderful profs this semester! Actually three of the five kinda rocked, so let’s be thankful for a majority.) Hopefully I’ll be able to pull it off. I have a pretty good idea that it should be fine, but I’ll know better once I get into the material.

I am feeling grossly stressed, but telling myself that this will all be over in a few days! This has by far been my worst semester, partially due to the way I set up my schedule and partially due to wonderful little things like last minute papers and having to re-write long papers because a prof interpreted a topic differently than I did. I am SO glad that I will not be writing ANY papers next semester. Not only that, but I’m taking less hours – so hopefully, it will feel like a breeze after this spring.

I keep telling myself that this semester has been a success. I found a job which was the biggest need. Martha is awesome. Her arrival has been so much easier and less intrusive than I estimated. Her presence has actually made me less stressed and forced me to be more structured with my studying! Good dog, Martha. Good dog! Can I tell you how much more studying I get done now that I’m getting up four hours earlier every day? (Who knew I was more productive in the morning?) Can I also add that we haven’t had an in-house accident since Sunday? I’m almost afraid to write it down for fear that she’ll break her streak!

There are plenty of to-do’s on the agenda for post-finals: must find a wardrobe for work, must get a haircut, must find a dog-walker, must sign-up for obedience school, must buy a bazillion bottles of wine. (The careful scheduling of work and Martha at this time has only allowed me to have wine once in about a week and a half. I would not be surprised if after finals I tried to put the wine in a bag and hook it up to an IV.)

At any rate, I’m digging in to it all. I’m sure I’ll come up for air occasionally to vent and whine and question why I ever did this – you know, except for the actual enjoyment of academic experience, studies in Paris, good friends made, wonderful city found, and amazing acquisition of dog – none of which I would have ever had if I hadn’t chosen to go to law school.

The latest request for advice...

I found multiple offerings in regards to what to do when you want your dog to stop doing something.

• Say No! in a firm voice
• Growl
• Clap your hands
• Make a loud noise of some kind
• Bad dog!
  

Whenever I do any of these Martha just wags her tail happily and says, "Hi Mom!"

Any advice from the sages?

Commitment = Commitment...

As the end of my morning class approached, I started to get uneasy about Martha. What if she really needed to go at some point during the day? What if being locked in the crate for so long drove her stir-crazy? Would she be bonkers for the rest of the evening? Was I being a bad owner? Was I foregoing my commitment to her?

Of course I went home during the break. There was no way I would get anything done at school while worrying about her. The odds of my paying attention in the rest of my classes was zero to nil. And yes, I realized that I missed her. [So annoying!] Though pressed, I made sure to follow all the rules related to her training. I waited to let her out of the crate. I ignored her for the first few minutes after letting her out. I made her sit before I put on the leash. The same rigor was applied during the walk, and wouldn't you know it, taking the time to do everything right caused the whole process to flow smoothly and I was back at school ten minutes earlier than yesterday despite taking time to grab a bite to eat while Martha chilled out with her tennis ball after the walk.

Gas Prices...

Everyone's taking a hit in regards to rising gas prices. Hmm, maybe not:

"Last year, the Irving, Texas-based company posted the largest annual profit by a U.S. company -- $39.5 billion. That result topped the previous record, also by Exxon Mobil, of $36.13 billion set in 2005."

ExxonMobil Earnings Rise Ten Percent

I'm tired...

So, so, so, so tired. I guess it's all starting to cave in. My attempts to be vigilant in training the dog and stay on-board with schoolwork appears to have caught up with me.

Today is the last long class day of the semester. I am in class, but for the first time in law school, I think I could easily just pass out right here less than 20 feet from the prof.

I feel guilty, but I'm not going to run home today to take Martha for a walk. I've got a paper due this afternoon that is finished, but on which I want to perform a last minute proofread and tweaking. If I can get that done, I'm going to use the rest of my short break to take a nap on one of the couches in the library. I hope Martha will be okay - after all we do know now that she can go without for up to 14 hours.

Yesterday was the first day that I questioned my acquisition of Martha. Although she's been solid in her house-training for the last few days, she was driving me nuts in other ways. She kept trying to pull on the leash, kept trying to stop and sniff, kept barking at dogs and people, kept jumping all over me. I'm not sure what the deal was. She usually doesn't do any of these things and the fact that I was so tired just irritated the heck out of me. Because she'd been in the crate for a lot of the day, she wouldn't leave me alone while I worked on the paper and every time I got up to get something I tripped over her because she was underfoot. I'm sure this is all my fault in some way. At some point I probably gave her attention when she asked for it. When she barked instead of ignoring her and continuing to walk I would stop and tell her no. I also felt guilty for being gone so much of the day. This morning when my alarm went off at 6:30 am, I wished that I could just lie in bed.

Oddly, I find these feelings somewhat comforting. There are going to be days when I feel hassled. I need to learn how to properly react and not resent little Martha. I'm sure that these types of feelings will come and go as both of us go through the adjustment process. I think they're healthy in that I'm learning what my limits are. I can't always do everything for her and do everything for me. So that's why today I'm taking my little nap in the library. Martha will have to wait a little longer to go outside, but overall I think it will be better for both of us.

Then again, maybe I'm just making things worse by veering off the schedule that I've tried to create for Martha's security and well-being. I guess we'll know shortly.

Whoo-hoo! Gifties!

A package from Atlanta came in the mail today addressed to Martha!


What's in the box, Martha?

This was!


Are you wondering what that is? Why it's a squeaking stuffed bagel with cream cheese, of course!

Personally, I was kind of jealous - and hungry - at the sight of it.

She also got organic dog biscuits!


Many, many thanks to my friend M for sending Martha such a cute gift!

Oh that's cool...

Martha is playing with her tennis ball. Every so often she throws her head back and tosses the ball into air, then catches it in her mouth before it hits the floor.

My apologies if all dogs do this and I'm just uninformed.

Don't laugh, it's genetic...

I sent my mother an email that contained the Grumpy Bear info from yesterday’s post.

Here’s her response:

I'm with Grumpster...although I would have stayed away from the shoe area. He is right to be concerned about the beast as this could be a real threat to him. I suggest he reside in a high and dry area for some time...or he could come to [Great Northwest] and live with Sam and Hampton [the stuffed animals of my sister], who happen to live with me! They tried making some demands [on my sister] once. Sam never got his dvd player nor Hampton his Gameboy. Instead they got some new Chevron cars and candy. It helped at the time but then they moved to my house anyway. They had a pretty good case for abandonment. Grumpster may have a case for alienation of affection. If I was on the jury I would award him the red sports car and a lifetime supply of chocolate as well as a hefty financial settlement.
mom

P.S. Tell Grumpy I will mail him the money for overnight FedEx if he wants to move. Hopefully you will be able to negotiate your way out of this but he seems to need his own advocate in the current situation. I am offering him some leverage here.


Sam and Hampton (a lion and monkey, respectively) are the stuffed animals that used to sit on my sister’s bed. When she went to college she left them behind with my mother for a semester. My mother’s had her sights on those guys ever since. Eventually my sister gave in and let my mother have them. Occasionally Sam and Hampton send us emails.

Here they are playing on the computer:


Decked out in ties for mother's day - they got her the flowers in the vase.



And here they are coloring noodles to make noodle necklaces.



Yeah, mom's pretty awesome - but she's not getting my bear.

Happy One Week, Martha!

I got up this morning to the sound of thunder. Uncertain of how willing Martha would be to go outside, I fed her before taking her out. Refreshingly, she had little problem with running around in the rain. Rain notwithstanding, I was determined to allow her a full walk (or at least a substantial portion of one). However when Martha had done everything she needed to do within five minutes of being outside, she sort of stopped and looked up at me as if to say, “Uh, Mom, do you hear the thunder? I think we should go back inside.”

We tromped back indoors and I drank my coffee while reviewing notes for my paper. Martha looked a little stir crazy so once the rain let up I took her for a fifteen-twenty minute walk – and she did her thing AGAIN! She was not too skilled in her leash-walking today, but much of the sidewalk was flooded and she had difficulty surmising when we came to curbs. She ran into the street a couple of times and I was just like, “Martha! You know to wait at the curb!”

I decided to let her off easy given the weather and her other excellent performances. I also struggled with getting her to sit before taking off the leash after we came inside. I guess she’s allowed a little slack, but as soon as this weather blows over, we’re going back to the grindstone. Little M’s was NOT thrilled to go into her crate this morning. She’s figured out that I will be gone for a long time when I start putting things into my backpack and she became nervous and whiny at the sight of this. I put a little bowl of water in her crate. She took a couple sips and then kicked it over so it would spill outside the crate. Then she buried the bowl under her blankies.

Now at school and it’s pouring down rain. Hopefully it will let up for the lunch break. I will only get to spend about thirty minutes with her. No doubt she will be full of ire to go right back into the crate if she does a good job outside. The good news is, this is the last week of class and after that, she will have limited crating experiences until I start work mid-May.

It turns out that getting her during finals time was actually a smart move on my part. I have a tendency to get dramatic and overreact to situations when there’s nothing going on in my life. Given that I’m on a tight schedule right now, I think it’s been easier to experience crying, accidents, walks and etc in that I just don’t have time to react to them.

Besides enhancing my emotional well-being, Martha seems to have already improved my life in other ways. I’m getting up super early and conking out by 11 pm which provides for a nice schedule. The only issue with that is that I usually work at night and I’m now finding that most of my work has to be done in the morning. I really enjoy our long walks during the day. They remind of me of all the walking I did in Paris. The scenery though different is still beautiful and the smells of spring are very relaxing. Despite my insistence that my 30ish year old body is immune to adjustment, I’ve already lost a few pounds from three walks a day. By the end of the summer I should be one hot mama with a tan!

PS- If I haven't said this already, she finally got a 'real' name a few days ago. Her ID tag says something else, but oh well, at least it has my name and phone number!

Today's the day...

Since bringing Martha home from the shelter, I've really liked her. I've been committed to working with her and keeping her and giving her a home. I've always thought she is a really great dog.

Today, however, I realized that she's got me. As of today, I really do love the dog. I sat in class today hoping that my profs would wrap things up early so that I could get home to her. I stopped at the pet store and bought her a treat. After one of her walks, I sat down in the park and she curled up in my lap. Now she's asleep at my feet, and as I write my paper, I can't stop from pausing to look at her.

I've found my Dog, and despite papers and finals and Boys and all the rest, everything is good in Ana's universe tonight.

New Baby Syndrome...

So – most of us in the Anastasia household are adjusting really well to Martha’s arrival. One of us, however, is none too pleased.

When I brought Martha home from the vet last week I saw a pair of two little blue legs high-tailing into my bedroom closet. As I was busy with Martha I didn’t worry too much about it, but a few hours later, I realized that my Care Bear, Grumpy, was no where to be found.

Grumpy and I go way back, twenty-four years to be exact. When the Care Bears first appeared on the scene they sold-out pretty quickly. Grumpy Bear was the exception. No one wanted a stuffed bear that frowned and had a rain cloud on its tummy. I can remember going into the grocery stores and seeing a lone Grumpy on the shelf and thinking just how much I identified with him. When my 8th birthday came, I asked for a Grumpy bear, but my mother wouldn’t get me one. She wanted me to get one of the happier, more-well adjusted bears. I refused and my mother said she wouldn’t buy me a Grumpy. I told her to stuff it (pun intended); my grandma had sent me $25 for my birthday and I would buy it myself.

Grumpy has slept on my bed every night since then and my mother has graciously apologized for her behavior.

I eventually found a disguised Grumpy in the closet.



He’s on a shelf, but I’m not sure hiding amongst the shoes was such a good idea. He refuses to leave, but I have noticed that during the night he sneaks out and hops in bed with me – only to return to the closet before morning.

Yesterday he gave me this:


Red sports car?

I surmise that this is all a reaction to having a new baby in the house. Prior to Martha’s arrival Grumpy was the top dog (again, pun intended).

Hopefully he and I can work things out and I will not have to take out a loan for new wheels.

Yes, I'm odd. I know. I'm just hoping one day someone will appreciate these quirks.

Quick Update...

Martha's been really good at everything today - crate, house-training, commands - but a storm is brewing. Literally, it's supposed to rain here in the next few hours. We'll see how this all plays out. I'm hoping that it doesn't start in the next hour. I really want to get her post-dinner walk in before it hits!

On the border on insanity...

The dog has now officially gone 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 hours without going to the bathroom despite numerous trips outside. Martha seems to be just fine with hanging out in the crate - in fact, I've had to wake her up a couple of times to take her outside. Her owner, on the other hand, is about to lose it and has been a big ball of stress since about 2 pm.

Update: Owner went to store and got wine. Feeling a little better now. I would worry that something was wrong with dog except that we've kind of been through this and the problem is - she wants to go on the hardwood floors and so she's waiting for the opportunity. Mommy, on the other side of this battle of wills, is insisting on the great outdoors. Don't feel too bad for Dog. Despite going nine and half hours, she's sleeping right now as mommy drinks her sedative.

Update 2: 14 hours!!!! The dog went 14 hours!!! At 13.5 Mom took doggie outside and just waited. We walked around the yard and stopped, had a long talk with the next door neighbor. Yada, yada, yada. I was ready to go to bed, but I didn't know what to do as with 14 hours, I knew she wouldn't make it through the night in her crate if she didn't go. I guess I messed up in spending so much time outside, but I didn't know what else to do!!! And then FINALLY SHE WENT. Mommy about had a coronary of happiness. I FREAKIN' HOPE SHE REMEMBERS IT FOR TOMORROW!!! The good news is...no accidents today!!! So at least we're on some kind of track. I guess. Maybe. Oh geez, why did I get a dog during finals? I was supposed to do my EU paper today and all I could think about was my dog going to the bathroom! (I finished about half of it so I'm not actually that behind.) I hope that for my GPA's sake she shapes up tomorrow!!

PS - I love my dog.

They're sooo cute when they're sleeping...

And not going to the bathroom in your house! Thanks to the tipster on the crating idea. It made me think of something. I think the dog might be conning me. I think she really likes to go outside and if she doesn't go to bathroom instantly, then she knows I'll just stay out there! So we're going to do shorter bathroom breaks and more crating in between. I'm not sure how well it's working though...she just seems to be geting more chill with hanging out in the closed crate.

Crossing my Fingers...

Last night I got Martha to go before we went to sleep and I gave her a treat right after we did it.

This morning I got up and made sure to get completely dressed, teeth brushed, bed made, etc before I let her out of the crate.

Around 8 am I grabbed the leash and went out to the spot.

Nothing.

I decided to take the advice of a commenter and put her right back in the crate when we got inside. We did this four times before I finally got her to go at 9:15! Unfortunately, I caved a little bit. After she refused to go at the spot for the fourth time I took her to another patch of grass in my yard. (Phooey.) She didn't immediately notice the treat when I took it out of my pocket so I hope she got the association in that in came within 60 seconds. (I didn't want to take the treat out too early and cause her to stop!)

Anyhoo, we went for our walk after this and I couldn't get her to go again. We usually go to the park at some point during our walk and this time I scheduled it at the end so she would have a minute or two to calm down before I took her back inside. Because she's been going right after we get in the house I didn't let her run up the stairs ahead of me and kept her on the leash for the first few minutes. Then I got a dog bone treat to distract her.

So far, so good, but I suspect we still have awhile to go on this one. Hopefully it won't take more than a few days.

I keep telling myself that if I put in the time now it will be so much easier in the future. I've already seen that from the crying, crating, and separation exercises. Martha improves on all of these everyday! She still doesn't like to enter the crate, but she doesn't cry immediately when I put her inside it. In the last day or so she's stopped crying after she's in the crate and I walk out of the room. This morning on one of the times I crated her I walked outside afterwards and she only cried for two minutes after I left. Plus, she was GREAT this morning as I was getting ready while she was still in the crate. I'm hoping that this means that she is learning and that she can also learn when and where to GO!

Request for help/advice...

Twice today Martha has gone to the bathroom inside within 30-60 seconds of being outside. Any ideas?

Consistency, consistency, consistency...

Manohmanohman.

So, on Day 2, Martha did pretty swimmingly with the house-training action. She went to her outside spot on three different occasions. I was stoked and decided that she was probably house-trained. Now that she had adjusted a little bit and had an official spot things would be a breeze.

Uh, Day 3 was a disaster in the house-training department. I let her out of the kennel in the morning and while I was grabbing the leash/coffee, Martha ran downstairs and went to the bathroom. I would say this was less than two minutes after I let her out of the cage. So I grabbed her really quick and took her outside to the spot. She went.

"Phew," I told myself. "I just need to learn that in the morning she needs to go immediately, and I need to be prepared to take her out the moment I let her out of the kennel."

During the day I took her out several times to the spot to no avail. In the late afternoon, I ran some errands and put her in the kennel. I got back home and let her out while I was putting the groceries away. In less than two minutes she'd gone again.

"Okay," I thought, "My being away causes anxiety. Any time I let her out of the kennel, I should immediately take her out."

Then last night we had another little accident and I caught her in the act. This time she hadn't been in the kennel, she'd been out recently, etc. I did think she might have been wandering around a little bit as if to indicate that she needed to go. I figured that one was kind of my fault.

So this morning, I let her out of the kennel, put her immediately on the leash and take her outside to the spot.

Nothing.

I wanted to take her for a walk, but I wasn't dressed yet. I figured I'd just run her outside and she'd go and then we'd come back inside. I'd get ready and then take her for the walk. Now I was afraid to bring her back inside. She'd slept in the kennel for eight hours and hadn't gone for two hours before I put her in the kennel. Ten hours, I knew she needed to go. We wandered all over my lawn. At one point she got in the position to go, but then seemed to change her mind. No!!!

After five minutes or so I decided to go inside and get dressed. Martha didn't want to come inside.

"Fine," I told her and hitched her leash to a post on my patio.

Amazingly, she didn't cry when I went inside. I got dressed and came outside. Still nothing.

"Oh well," I thought. "I'd prefer for her to go in her spot, but if she goes on the walk it's still okay.

So Martha and I took a nice long thirty minute walk.

And she never went to the bathroom.

We actually came back to the house because I had to go now.

I let her back inside and she ran ahead on the stairs. I didn't even take her leash off because I planned to take her out in twenty minutes.

I got to the top of the stairs to find Martha taking a whiz in my living room.

WTF?

I completely lost it and she looked at me like 'what the heck is your problem?' She just kept going so I picked her up and ran her down the stairs. I read somewhere that if you catch them in the act you're supposed to just run them out to the spot and so that's what I did. Whatever I read also said that this action will stop them from going. HA! Martha just kept going all the way down the stairs.

I took a shower, ran to the store to buy paper towels and am now doing laundry.

I guess we're back to the drawing board and the stricter standard. Yesterday we didn't go out every hour on the hour. We probably went out twice an hour because I took her with me whenever I wanted a cigarette. I'd take her to the spot and then we'd go sit on the patio for a little while. Now I'm wondering if that caused confusion. Today I'll pop her in the crate for cigarette breaks and bathroom breaks will be bathroom breaks. They will be once an hour and if she doesn't go she'll immediately be brought back inside.

I don't know why she suddenly thinks my living room is the new bathroom. She gets her heartiest praise for anything when she goes on her spot. And going immediately after she comes inside?!?!? Maybe I will consult the great google-dini.

In other news, her separation stuff seems better today - although I'm afraid to say so because who knows what she'll be like tomorrow!!

Okay, let's try this approach...

Martha is adjusting quite well with one exception…the owner separation anxiety.

This is pretty much the only problem in relation to Martha. She is coming along quite swimmingly on her ‘sit’ training. She is doing well in repeatedly going to her spot when I take her outside – though she doesn’t always want to go. Today I sat at my desk for hours studying and she lay down beside me, not bothering me once.

She’s super smart about certain things. For instance, I never play with her when I’m sitting at my desk – just when we’re in the living room. Today Wine-time called and I walked into the living room and sat down. Martha was immediately all over me thinking that it was play-time.

In jumping up, I've also figured out that completely ignoring her seems to work the best. Pushing her down just seems to spur her on. "Mom just touched me! Let's do that again!"

As for the baby biting, I tried handing her her toy for awhile. Now I find that a baby bop on the nose works well. I don't bop hard enough to hurt, but she seems to get the idea.


Conked out.

However, the anxiety is pretty severe. When she gets upset, she will almost immediately go to the bathroom, prompting me to learn that as soon as you let her out of the crate, you need to just grab the leash and go. Today I came back from getting groceries and she ran around for maybe thirty seconds while I unloaded. Guess what she accomplished in that thirty seconds.

She also has no issue in regards to being crated. Wine-time read the blog posting yesterday and brought over a large crate that we put in the kitchen in case her kennel was too small for long periods. We sat in the living room talking and brought the smaller kennel in with us. Martha immediately rolled up into a ball and went to sleep.

Wine-time suggested that I use the crate for away periods and the kennel for sleeping. She also suggested that I put the kennel in my bedroom at night – that way Martha would get more face-time with me. I was uncertain because I didn’t know if keeping her near me would reinforce the problem.

Anyhoo around bedtime I shoved her into the kennel and left it next to my bed. She barked for two seconds and then stopped because she realized I was still in the room. I put my Pj’s on and hopped into bed. She didn’t make a single peep for the rest of the night, nor did she try and wake me up in the morning or when the alarm went off multiple times. When I let her out she just trotted right out without any spastic behavior.

SO she doesn’t mind being confined at all.


We've had the top back on since last night with no problems. She's been sleeping/lounging in it all day.

Another indicator in the evening was after Wine-time and I took Martha outside. When we came in, she hopped up the stairs and headed into the living room where WTG and I had been hanging out. I went into the bathroom. According WTG, Martha freaked when she realized I wasn’t in the room. She ran downstairs to the front door, then ultimately figured out that I was in the bathroom and stood outside it whimpering until I appeared.

SO it’s not even that she needs other people around – it specifically has to be ME. UGH!

Today I had a few brief exercises with Martha where I would close a door and then wait for a few seconds. This did not work so well. Freak out central.

Now we are playing a modified lesson in regards to such. Instead of full-fledged door closing, we’re doing indicators. I get up from my chair. Martha who is lying down will spring into action. I immediately sit back down. Martha lies down. I get up. Martha waits for a few seconds and then gets up. I sit back down. She lies down. After a few times of this Martha got up and then lay down across the doorway – as if to say, I’m not getting up unless you’re actually going to go somewhere. Ha!

I thought she was improving, BUT I’ve been doing this exercise with her as I typed this. After awhile she started wandering around the house freely and even went down the stairs twice which she never does. I thought she was feeling better –turns out she was looking for a spot to go! Augh! I don’t know if it was the exercises that caused anxiety or if maybe she just needed to go. At the same time, I’ve tried to take her out in the last thirty minutes so who knows! Guess we’ll just keep plugging along in regards to this one.

One small sign that she might be improving - For the last two nights she has managed to eat her dinner in the kitchen without me in the kitchen. Yesterday I was sitting at my desk watching her feeling sooo proud. Then I got up to put away my sunglasses and as soon as I was out of her line of sight, bingo, she’s standing in my bedroom.


Farthest distance away ever!

Okay, we’re playing the little game again. She’s letting me stay out of her sight a little bit longer each time. Cross you fingers once more. Maybe by the end of the week I’ll be able to shower without inciting total fear.

Oh this is hilarious. So I’ve been getting up and walking in and out of the bathroom, right? Well, now she’s doing it to me. She’ll go and hang out in there for a few seconds and I’ll think, “She must be up to something! She’s never out of my sight. I should check and make sure she’s not doing something she shouldn’t.”

Okay, I’m refusing to move. She came out. She’s gone back in. Oh, this is killing me.

Doh.

Oh man. The big M's just lasted nearly five minutes without me in her line of sight! Prior to the exercises this evening, her record was about two seconds. Why does it always seem so amazing when you read these dog training techniques and they actually work? I know, don't count my chickens. It was five minutes. But oh my gosh, FIVE MINUTES!!!

I've been a bad mom today...

I made my first boo-boo today with Martha. Yesterday I got up and dressed before I let her out of the kitchen. This morning I let her out as soon as I got up because I felt bad that she was in the kennel all night. What a dumb move. Any time Martha is freed from pen or kennel she goes a little bonkers. I either just stand there or completely ignore her until her hyper mood is over. Well, it just didn’t work that well this morning. I was trying to get ready and she was all over the place. I took her outside to her spot – she went – yay – and then when I brought her back inside put up the baby gate.


MOM! Play with me!

She went nuts with crying and barking from the gate, jumping all over the place. I continued to get ready and closed my bedroom door so that the sight of me wouldn't distract her. Then I hear the crash. Martha has bull-dozed down the gate. (In her defense, the baby gate just doesn’t work that well. My house has settled a little bit and the doorway is uneven.)

So, I open the door and start to yell at Martha!

Then I realized that I was yelling at the dog after I had been the one who took her out of her kennel early. Gah.


Martha's favorite Toy

After breakfast and long walk, she was none too happy to get back into the crate when I headed off for school. I actually shoved her in there. Nice.

On the way home from school I stopped at giant pet retailer to get a bigger collar. I had a small to medium and the next size up looked kind of close so I picked the large size. Of course, it’s just a little bit too big for her!

Once I got home, Martha put on her official new collar and we took a walk on her official new blue leash. Martha was really perky and walked on her new leash like a champ. I was so proud of her. She didn’t veer off the sidewalk and if she stopped to smell something, all I had to do was make a kissing noise for her to regain her stride.

Then we got home and I decided to get some lunch. Since Martha was behaving so well I decided to just put the gate up. Pandemonium ensued. She went nuts and as I walked down the stairs, she clobbered the gate once again. I ran back up the stairs and she’d gone to the bathroom on the floor – in a span of like thirty seconds and after we’d just been outside for an hour!

I all but threw her into the kennel in frustration and cleaned up the mess. I didn’t even care when she cried as I left!

I came back with lunch, let her out and she was good again. I was frustrated with myself because I feel like I was doing the wrong things and slacking off today out of tiredness.

This afternoon we worked on ‘sit’ again. Still slow going on that one, but she has become a master at ‘release’ aka ‘give it to mommy’ when it comes to toys.

I’m back to finishing my paper, she’s taking a nap and we’re starting the crate training from scratch since Martha is now scared to death of it.


Revised crate training - now located in 'her inside spot' with lid removed. Also, I think she might be a little too long for this kennel. She always sleeps with her head hanging out like this. What do y'all think? She can turn around in it...and after I just typed the head comment she's curled up in a ball inside it...oh wait, in typing that she's back to head popped out.

Any suggestions on this separation anxiety stuff? She’s really bad. She’ll cry if I walk outside to take the trash out without her and she’ll cry when I close the door to the bathroom. It’s a little ridiculous! I've been really careful not to make ANY kind of deal when I leave the house and I really don't dote on her at all. She's usually very chill as long as she's within five-ten feet of me. Otherwise - hysteria.

You know it's finals time when...

1. My blog hits go up.
2. I all but stop reading blogs.
3. I post sixteen times a day because I'm chained to my computer.
4. I'm studying so much that the only thing of note from my day is that I got my dog to go to the bathroom outside.

I'm too sexy.

A Big Day in the Household...

When Martha started her little 'accident,' I grabbed the leash and we headed for the door. She got to the stairs and stopped.

"Oh come on, baby," I told her.

She pulled back. I went to grab her, but she knew what was coming. Martha hated the stairs and as I picked her up, she now proceeded to whiz all over my feet and the top of the stairs.

"No time, no time!" I thought and ran out the door with her.

We walked and walked and walked. And nothing.

My landlord saw us from her window and stopped to wave and nod in her positive appraisal of Martha.

"Yeah, if you only knew she was whizzing all over your renthouse," I thought.

When we got back inside I left Martha at the bottom of the stairs. She whimpered.

"Guess what, M?" I told her. "Today's the day you learn to climb stairs."

I sat mid-stair for awhile and Martha would do nothing more than place her front feet on the top step. After a few minutes, I got up and left. Two minutes later I heard her make her way up the stairs.

A-ha! Is this what it's like when a child takes their first steps?

I walked to the stairwell and sat two steps down.

"But can you descend them as well?" I asked.

She did. Very slowly. One at a time. Then she seemed very proud of herself and for the next five minutes did nothing but walk up and down the stairs like a little kid who's just learned to ride a two-wheeler.

Wine-time and I discussed the bathroom situation on the phone.

"I think at the shelter Martha had 'her spot' and now she doesn't know where 'her spot' is. This is so frustrating!" I said.

What would I do if I couldn't house train her?

I went back to my doggy resources to find a new approach. One suggested taking her out every hour to the same place. If she didn't go immediately, then I was to walk her right back inside. I did this and I gave her all the water she could drink. In the meantime I worked on my paper and Martha lay at my feet.

This is her in-house 'spot.'

She falls asleep here. She dumps her toys here. She's even taken a bite of food and then wandered over to the afghan to chew. Last night I put down a blankie, but it was apparent that she likes the edge of the afghan. For all her other whining, Martha has figured out that once she hears the click of the keyboard, Mommy is not to be bothered and she falls asleep until I get up to grab a diet coke or bite to eat. (She's actually lying on top of that cord - not chewing it. The cord has now been moved since Martha claimed the area.)

Anyway, I am proud to report that at hour three, the damn thing worked!

Who can guess the small joys in life?

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Tonight as I was feeding M I decided to work on the sit technique. I held the bowl just above her head saying, "Sit! Sit!"

After a few seconds Martha plopped down and I was like, "OH GOOD DOG! GOOD DOG! GOOD DOG!"

Then I realized that Martha was so excited about doing something good that she had whizzed all over the kitchen floor.

The reason why tuition is so high…

My prof just tried to draw something on the dry-erase board, but he didn’t like it and picked up the eraser. When the drawing did not erase, he walked to a different part of the board and drew his figure again…with the same marker.

But it's a treat, Martha!

I went home during lunch and again took Martha on a 20-25 minute walk. No dice. The good news is, she didn't go in her kennel. We'll see if she continues her streak when I get home this afternoon.

The vet called to see how she was doing and my reply was, "Great - except..."

They said it could be as a result of the surgery or it could be part of her adjustment. We'll see how things go this evening. I'm trying to decide whether or not to let her roam in the kitchen again tonight or put her in the kennel.

Martha is cracking me up in that she is the exact opposite dog that she was at the shelter. So far, she hasn't tried to chew on anything or jump up on the furniture. She did both these things when I observed her in small town. On the flip side, she barked at another dog today (huh, what?) and barked in my house when she heard another dog. I guess you never really can tell.

After our walk I tried a few things with her. If anyone's a master on teaching the command 'sit,' please come to my house! I've never been able to get her to do it and today I tried again. I put a treat in my hand and did the thing where you put your hand by your side. She kinda sat. Actually, she plopped down right on my feet and then rolled her head back into my knees as if she wanted to be cuddled.

"GOOD DOG! GOOD DOG!" I said and opened my hand.

She swiped the treat immediately, took a chomp, and then dumped it on the floor. Then she decided to play with it like she was pouncing a small animal.

"Martha, you silly! You're supposed to eat it."

She carried her treat around to various rooms, hiding the treat somewhere and then scoping it out in attack. In the meantime I actually studied a little bit. She eventually plopped down beside me at my desk, and I did my best to avoid eye contact as she seems to think that's the signal to play.

Despite not learning the 'sit' command she has quickly learned to release her rope bone when she wants to play fetch. I say, "Give it to mommy" and she loosens her grip and lets me take it. It's kind of cute, but I'm guessing that 'sit' and 'go to the bathroom' will be much more rewarding.

She cried again when I put her in the kennel and went into full blown howl as I walked down the stairs.

On my way to the garage I came across a mutilated baby carrot. I suppose I will need to come up with a new form of treat. How was I supposed to know? Boy's Dog loved baby carrots.

And so it begins...

Okay, so remember how when I visited Martha at the shelter she was really good about going to the bathroom every time I took her outside. Hmmm, yeah, well…

I tried to take her out four times yesterday and got nada. I thought maybe she just a) wasn’t feeling well from her surgery and b) hadn’t really had any water that day.

So last night I penned her in the kitchen knowing that if I didn’t crate her the odds were good that she might go somewhere in the kitchen during the night. Guess what? I was right!

I woke up around 6 am this morning and as soon as I got out of bed she came flying out of her kennel. I decided it was probably best to get dressed, brush teeth, etc before I acknowledged her. That way she would get used to me waking up before I took her outside. After fifteen minutes or so I wandered into the kitchen and found the mess. She’d gone as far away from her kennel as possible. It was fairly easy to clean up. I read some advice somewhere about putting vinegar on the spot and I have to say, it definitely cleared up any smells.

After clean-up, I fed Martha a little bit of food and then let her roam for about ten-fifteen minutes. She was definitely feeling better this morning and was much more energetic. I have pain pills for her, but I’m not sure that she’ll need them today. We’ll see how she does. After breakfast I took her outside for a walk. We were out for 20-25 minutes and I stopped at random times just to let her hang out on the grass. Did she go? Oh, heck no!

We came back to the house and I finished getting ready for school. I was a little bothered that she followed me around wherever I went. At the shelter she was super independent and seemed content to do her own thing. I hope this is a temporary part of her adjustment period. I’m trying very hard not to dote on her so that we DON’T create the type of situation where she feels like she needs to be attached at the hip. Before I left she and I played a little bit of fetch with her rope bone. I introduced her to a squeaky toy and she thought it was the greatest thing on earth after she realized that it squeaks when she bites it. Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! I wonder if I will regret buying THAT toy.

Anyhoo, I considered just letting her run around in the kitchen while I was gone, but ultimately decided that her kennel would be best. I figured if I put her in the kennel she would hold it until I got home and maybe THEN she would go when I took her outside.

And this is where the fun part started – because as soon as I put her in the kennel she started to whimper. If I walked back into the kitchen she would stop, be really quiet, and lie down as if to say, “Look, mom! I’m being really good! Don’t you want to let me out?”

Um, yeah. It didn’t help matters that whenever I walked past the kennel I heard the thump, thump, thump of her little tail wagging. This was kind of painful for me, but what was worse was when I gathered my stuff and started to walk down the stairs. I think she figured out that I was leaving and boy did she bark! Agony! I wondered if she would bark the whole time I was gone or stop after ten minutes. I also wondered if I would receive a phone call/email from my landlord saying, “I can hear your dog.”

I sat in the garage with the car door open and I could still hear her. There was no point in going back upstairs. If I did then I would just make this process that much longer. She needs to learn to be cool with being in the kennel and with me being gone. I realized I had forgotten my cell phone inside. Crud. No way was I going back indoors.

Sigh. I’m now sitting at school and my nerves are a little jangled. I hope she’s okay, but when I think about it I’m sure she is. She slept just fine in the kennel last night of her own accord. I guess in some way I feel like I’m being bad for locking her up in the kennel, but I just keep telling myself that this is the right thing to do, right? Because this will help with house-training and those moments when I need to put her in there to run quick errands or clean house, right?

Of course while I was sitting in the car I was thinking, “What if she’s barking because she needs to go to the bathroom?” and then again I reminded myself that she needs to learn to go when I take her outside. If I’m running her outdoors every fifteen minutes then she’ll think she can just go whenever she wants and not have to wait. At any rate, that’s what I’m telling myself. I hope I’m right. I hope this works.

Half of me is excited to go home at lunch and see if we can establish the ‘Let’s go to the bathroom outdoors’ practice. The other half of me is dreading the oh-so-fun aspect of having to put her back in the kennel when I leave. If I get home and she’s gone to the bathroom in the kennel, then I’ll need a new strategy. Everyone cross your fingers on that one. I think the odds are pretty good that she’ll hold it – BUT. I also don’t know how much her surgery is playing into all of this. Right now I kinda wish that I hadn’t fed her anything this morning, but at the same time, the little kid hadn’t eaten in 24 hours. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

PS – I will at some point return to regularly scheduled blogging, but right now I kind of just want to document the Martha process. (Plus – you guys can offer advice!)

PPS – A funny thing about Martha – she doesn’t know how to climb stairs. We figured this out last night when we got her home. If I leave her at the bottom of the stairs and sit four steps up she looks at me longingly like, “Why are you doing this to me?” I know she’ll figure them out soon enough, but part of me is enjoying it temporarily. Given that she and I are going through several adjustments at one time, it’s kind of nice to know that I don’t have to worry about her wandering around in the downstairs area – which, by the way, is carpeted. Maybe we will figure out this house-training thing by the time she learns stairs.

PPPS – I still haven’t named her. I’ve got a list going, but I want to spend a few days with her to really get a feel for her personality. Feel free to send suggestions!

She's home...

So here’s the scoop. Wine-time girl and I picked Martha up at the vet. According to WTG, Martha started wagging her tail as soon as she saw me. You could tell she was tuckered out and her little ears were back like she was frightened and had had a rough day. As the vet gave me instructions, Martha hid under my legs with her muzzle perched in the back of my knee.

We took her out to the grass and couldn’t get her to go, so we decided to put her into the car. I got down the kennel and she didn’t seem to want to go in on her own so I gave her a little shove and that was all it took. She climbed on in. On the hour long drive back, Martha didn’t make a single noise! No whimpering, whining, or barking!

Once we got her home, I had some dinner and we penned Martha in the kitchen. WTG and I sat in the living room. Every so often WTG got up to check on her and I was like, “What’s she doing?”

One time WTG was like, “She’s in her kennel!”

What! I got up to look, but Martha heard me coming and popped out of the kennel. After a little while, I decided to let Martha cruise the house. She was circling for a place to lie down and WTG was like, “Why don’t you give her a blanket?”

I brought in the kennel and sure enough, she went right into it! Am I lucky or what?!?!



Martha’s been really good for most of the night and has been doing a lot of sleeping. She has, however, found an afghan in my room that she seems to prefer to the kennel. When I took a shower, she did not seem as thrilled to be locked in the kennel.

I went through a big debate over whether to put her in the kennel for the night and let her sleep next to my bed or give her more space penned in the kitchen, but not near me. Since she’ll be in the kennel while I’m in class tomorrow, I decided to pen her.

And this was Martha’s first semi-bad behavior of the evening. She’s now in the kitchen behind the baby gate and can see me and she wants to come out. She’s even doing a little whimper every so often. So here’s the moment where I have to be tough and just ignore her. Of course I forgot to see if anything was sitting out in the kitchen before I put her there, but I can’t go near the kitchen now. I just have to hop and bed and act like everything’s normal and if she decides to cry, I’ve just got to let her. Ohhhh!

But besides that, everything else is great. No chewing, no hopping on furniture, no nada. So far she’s been a delight! And speaking of, she just decided to give up, has stopped the whimper and decided to lie down. Awesome. Cross your fingers that good things continue!

Quick Martha Update...

Thanks everyone for your calls and emails.

I just spoke to the vet and Martha's surgery went a-ok (phew!), and they said she's already up on all fours and moving around. Talk about a trooper! If she's this active, I see LOTS of long walks in our future. Maybe Martha will help Ana get into shape a little bit! (And can I just say that I got an unexpected rush of warmth when I requested info on Martha and they replied, 'Martha Smith?' Hearing my last name associated with hers really made it feel like I have a new addition to my family.)

Will be picking her up later this afternoon. Wine-time Girl is accompanying me to small town for the retrieval. Thanks, WTG. I could probably use a sanity context today.

For anyone who asked about visiting Martha...I had worried about having visitors on the day of her surgery, but it sounds like she's doing just fine. If you want to come over tonight, feel free. Just give me a call and let me know you're on your way. I have a feeling there won't be much studying in the Ana household tonight anyway. We're taking the evening off in order to enjoy the important things in life.

Oh, this could definitely have its perks...

So, I was feeling a little down about exams. Then I remembered that this little girl is coming home tomorrow and suddenly class-related phoney-baloney didn't seem like such a big deal. Oh, I hope she works out. I'm so excited!!!!



Woof!

Quick Request for Dog Advice...

I want to make sure Martha understands that she is NOT supposed to be on furniture. I have received conflicting information on how to deal with this.

One approach says:
Say no or clap and squirt her with a water gun. Do not pick her up and remove her because you will be showing her that she will get physical attention by climbing on the couch.

Second approach:
Say no or clap, but don't squirt. She will associate the water gun with you, not the couch. Pick her up and put her on the floor. Say 'floor' or whatever word you want her to associate with getting off the couch. Once on the floor, pat her head so she will associate good with floor.

I realize this could be dependent on the dog herself, but I wondered what other's experiences were.

Updated: Yes, i know. I'm blogging for dog advice on a day like today. I'm not trying to be insensitive - perhaps it would be better to just not post at all - but people react to things in different ways. For me, sticking with routine is really comforting.

Hey y'all...

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has offered encouraging words in regards to Martha. I feel good about the decision, but I'm still a little freaked out! Right now I would just like to get her home so I have a better idea of exactly what I am getting myself into.

In the meantime, I am furiously trying to get schoolwork done as well as get the house ready for her arrival. I've been working on my paper today as well as preparing for a presentation tomorrow, but had to take a break to go get some items for her. I thought since I'd pre-made a list I could run in and out, but I ended up being in the store for nearly two hours. A nice employee at monstrous pet retailer walked me up and down every aisle letting me know what he thought was good and not good. Martha now has a crate, toys, and food bowls, but I still need to grab some baby gates. I had an ID tag made for her - so I guess I have finally settled on a real name (it's a secret!), but then I left the little ring for it at the store. Augh! Let's hope she doesn't run out of the house before I have a chance to get a new one. I'm hoping the vet might have an extra when I pick her up from surgery.

What did I decide?

So after my visit with Martha on Friday morning, the rest of my afternoon was spent in pure torment. The prospect of getting a dog seemed overwhelming to me. I walked through my house noticing all of the items that needed to be moved/removed for the sake of dog-proofing. I wondered about Martha – was she housebroken, would she get into everything, would she cry incessantly, would she destroy everything I owned? Was I okay with getting up at 7 am every morning to take her out? Was I okay with finding a place for her every time I wanted to take a trip? Would I need to come home at lunch and take her out once I started working full-time? Even if she could last, was I a horrible person if I left her? Was I ready to make this type of commitment? I could have this dog for ten years. What about finals? Would I freak out in the middle of them because the dog was chewing on everything and going to the bathroom everywhere? My house wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready.

Wine-time Girl invited me over to her parent’s house for some dinner and quality-time with her two dogs. By the time I got there, I had decided to call the shelter the next morning and tell them I couldn’t take Martha. This just wasn’t the right time. Dinner at Wine-Time’s was fun. We walked the dogs; I played with the dogs incessantly and tried to talk her mom into letting me take one home. To cap off the evening, WTG and I watched the S&TC episode where Charlotte gets the Jack Russell Terrier that destroys her house. Yes, I had made the right decision.

I got home and climbed into bed. Then I stared at the ceiling for two hours thinking.

When I woke up Saturday morning I felt groggy and told myself how lucky I was that I didn’t have to get out of bed to walk a dog. Then I got up and drove to the shelter. No, the dog wasn’t pulling at my heartstrings. I wasn’t worried that if I didn’t adopt her she might be put down. Rather, I told myself that I was being an idiot. I was scared to get a dog the same way that I am scared to get married or have kids, and I had worked myself into such a frenzy over the whole ordeal that I’d talked myself out of it. In some ways, I am TOO aware of the responsibilities that come with commitment, so much so that I won’t let myself make the big ones. I watch other people jump into them carelessly and think, “Don’t they know what they’re doing? This is FOREVER.”

Forever is a very frightening word to me. Ten years is frightening to me. I was able to talk myself into attending law school under the guise that I could go back to school and get yet another degree after I paid my loans off for law. Do one thing for the rest of my life? Thank you, no. One person, one city, one dog? Excuse me, I feel an extreme case of claustrophobia coming on and need to leave the room. What if I was a bad owner? What if I ruined my dog? What if my dog ruined me?

Earlier in the week Wine-time girl and I were sitting at the café while I reviewed my doggie-timeline.

“Do you think I can be ready for a dog by mid-July?” I asked.

“Um, I think you’re over-thinking this, Ana,” she answered. “You could get a dog tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow! Are you kidding me? I don’t know the first thing about owning a dog! I haven’t made a doggie budget! I haven’t compared carriers and leashes! I haven’t researched who at our school also has dogs so that I can set-up doggie play dates! I am not prepared!”

“Ana, it’s a dog. I’m not saying it’s the easiest thing in the world, but most of the population has managed to own one.”

Finals or no finals, there is never a perfect time to get a dog, have a child, or make a long-term commitment. You can never be fully prepared for what you’re getting yourself into. I was afraid of that, but I knew that I shouldn’t be. I hate fear within myself. I’ve conquered a lot of it, but I still struggle in the area of emotional relationships coupled with some sort of dependency – be it personal, romantic, or with a dog. On some level, I’m afraid of love and the hardship that may come with it.

The staff recognized me when I walked inside and I waited by Martha’s pen until someone came to get her out. Like the day before, she was chill when I got there, but this time when she saw me she began to bounce up and down, her tail wagging fiercely. But no barking! I immediately felt calm, and that’s when I realized, the thought of having a dog terrifies me, but the presence of the dog itself makes me feel better than when I’m without one.

Wow, she’s better than valium.

They put her on a leash and handed her to me and we tromped outside. Again, she went to the bathroom as soon as she found the grass. I walked with her around the complex for fifteen minutes or so to get a feel for her walking style. When I stopped she kept going until she felt the leash jerk and then she would stop and just be chill. If she started to cross over in front of me I would pull her leash gently and say, “Right side, please,” and she wandered back over. If she got a little ahead of me, I would again pull gently and say, “Walk with me.” She’d slow her pace and walk next to me for a little while before she wandered ahead. We did this a few times and each time she managed to stay beside me for a little longer.

This is a smart dog.

I walked back inside and filled out her paperwork. She and I played in a private room for a little while. She loves to play fetch. She was intrigued with everything going on around her and watched with fascination as people and pets wandered through. Very quickly she discovered a calendar the center gave me and shredded it in about 10 seconds.

Note to self: Rearrange bookshelves. Put Camus on top shelf, law books on bottom.

I worried a little bit about her chewing, but hopefully we can get her a bunch of toys and do a little training on that. Right now she’s in a kennel all day long without a single thing to chew on. I had one of the shelter people look at her teeth and they estimated her to be around a year old. It’s possible she’s still in puppy mode as far as chewing goes. I told myself that I would probably lose a few books as a result of this situation and decided to be okay with it.

After that I took her back outside one more time to see how she did. We got to the grass and she tried to go to the bathroom so I think she has a strong association. During our little walk other dogs, people, and cars drove by. Martha stopped to watch them, but didn’t try and race after any of them. If she stopped to sniff at something and I said, "Come on, let's go," she would quickly resume her trot. I tried to teach her ‘sit,’ but couldn’t get her to do it to save my life.

I pick her up later this week. When I signed the papers, the staff told me that I can return her within ten business days for any reason. That sounds awful, but it kind of made me feel relieved. If something’s drastically wrong, I should know pretty quickly. In the meantime, I came home Saturday and read 400 pages of dog-related literature in an attempt to get mildly caught up on basic training and care. I also made a list of all the items I need to get before I get her and started doggie-proofing the house. I didn’t get the reading done that I wanted, but surprisingly I wasn’t too bothered. After being a basket case Friday, Saturday felt really calm. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I just know it’s going to be okay.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to Martha, the wonder dog:


Chewing on a cat toy. Yes, thanks. I realize she looks like a pit bull.


Martha ponders the closed door.


Martha fascinated by what's going on outside the glass.


Particularly fascinating things require standing on hind legs. Um, how do I stop this?


She has a white dot on her head.


Fetch!


I was trying to get a shot of her face, but this actually works well for scale. My hands are about the size of a ten-year-old kid - so you can see she's actually pretty tiny. No higher than my knee.

She may not seem like much to look at - but I promise she's pretty amazing.

Oh yeah - any dog experts out there - what types of dog do you think she is? They had her listed as Boston Terrier mix at the shelter, the volunteer who filled out my paperwork had her as a Boxer mix. She's obviously got some kind of pit bull, but I think she might also have a different type of terrier since she's so small.

Advice I Wish Someone Would Have Offered...

Never go visit a dog until you are fully prepared to take one home.

I drove an hour in the rain today to go visit a dog for a variety of reasons.
A) I was tired and I knew I wouldn't get any studying done.
B) I haven't taken a drive in awhile and I find them relaxing.
C) I thought it might be a good idea to visit a kennel and see what they're like - and how different the dogs look from their pictures.
D) I really wanted to play with a dog.

I get down to the shelter and inquire about the dog. They show me to the back area where the dogs are housed. I walk down the line of kennels as big dogs (which I am deathly afraid of mind you) bark loudly and jump wildly.

I stopped when I came across an adorable little fatty sitting on her haunches and staring at me with sad eyes. I approached the kennel for a closer look. The dog didn't move, didn't bark. I crouched down to make eye level with her. She stood up, but nothing else.

I went back to the front counter.

"I'd like to spend some one-on-one time with Martha [name changed], please," I told the guy.

Martha was not the dog I came to see.

"OH MARTHA!" beamed another guy from behind the counter and he ran to get her.

Martha, though subdued in her kennel came barreling around the corner. They handed me her leash and the two of us took a little walk outside.

As soon as Martha hit grass, she went to the bathroom.

"This is a good sign," I told myself and WTG later confirmed.

Martha and I rambled around a little bit. She did not appear to be leash-trained and sometimes got wrapped around my legs. Overall, she didn't pull on the leash too hard and once she realized that I had stopped, she would stop, too.

I so need a book on dog training.

We went back inside and sat in a private room with a big window so that she could run around leash-free. Martha checked out everything which included putting her front legs on tabletops to see what was up there.

Hmmm...How do I fix that?

She wasn't however, overly spastic and just seemed to be thrilled to be exploring a new place. After a while she chilled out and watched the people go by through the window. If I called her name she would come over to me for a little pat. At one point a cat walked up to the window and Martha got excited, but she never barked.

In the meantime, I could hear the volunteers through the window talking with glee.

"Oh! I just love her."

"This is so great!"

"Things are looking good for Martha!"

One of the guys walked inside the room to answer my questions.

Martha came to the shelter as a stray; she weighs 23 pounds. She's heartworm negative, but did have hookworm when she got there. She's also full grown.

Martha was clearly happy to see this man and bopped around. He sat down and opened his arms for her and she jumped in his lap.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting there thinking, "Dude, you're reinforcing my dog to jump on people."

The guy went through the adoption procedure with me. If I decide to get her, I'll have to wait a week for her to be spayed. Martha sat by my side. Every so often I'd pat her head and she'd play-chew on my wrist.

Ohmigod, you're a chewer. That's going to be some serious dog-proofing. And please don't chew on my wrist - it's not a toy.

"You drove all the way from Big City?" he asked me.

"Yep," I said. "I saw one of your dogs on Petfinder and wanted to check him out, but when I got here, I wanted to see Her instead."

Martha was now prancing around with a cat toy.

"You know, it's funny," he said. "When she came to the shelter I thought someone would take her immediately because she's such a great dog, but you're the first person to ask to see her. She's been here two months."

First, in the dog's defense, I was in a town of less than 25,000 people. But okay - so now I think it's destiny, right? And now I'm all worried because she's been there forever and the guys talking to me about how dogs that stay in kennels for too long develop agressive behavior and have to be put down.

"I want 24 hours to think about this," I said.

I was in love with the dog, but I was already freaking out. I was supposed to just come and look at a dog, not take one home.

"No problem," he said. "We'll put her on hold."

After they took her away, I pondered. The dog is clearly not trained. This is okay except that finals start in a little over two weeks. I was wanting to get a dog after finals and my summer associate position was over so I could work 24/7 with the dog before school started. What will I do if I get her a week before finals start and then jump right into 7 weeks of 40 hour weeks? I don't even know if I can leave her home alone. The guy said to just crate her, but I want to train her to like the crate before I start locking her up in it. On the other hand, she could turn out to be just fine. She's the perfect size, an absolute cutie and seems very trainable. She's also a chewer, an invesigator, and might not be house-trained.

I walked back to the kennel to see Martha one more time. Where her name had been was a new big sign that said, "I'm adopted!!!"

Dirty pool here people!

And then Martha saw me and started to jump and BARK.

What are you doing? You haven't barked the entire hour I've been here! Not good for your cause!

I can't decide what to do.

Vonnegut.

Died.
Yesterday.
At the age of 84.
Of natural causes relating to an injury from a fall.

Talk about raising the bar for the rest of us.

So it goes.

I also like...

This guy...


I think he's just yawning as opposed to growling in the pic...


And this guy...




Aren't his little legs so cute!

It's kind of nice to have a crush on something other than boys.

In the meantime, what's up with some of the dog adoption nazis? I understand that they want to find good homes, but some of these guys come with a list of requirements:
Must be an indoor dog - okay, I get that you don't want us putting a guy outdoors all day long.
In addition, must have fenced yard - um, excuse me? Why can I not just walk him on a leash?
Reserve the right to make sure animal has a companion pet if he likes being around other dogs - Wait, I have to get two dogs so this dog can have a friend?
Long questionnaires detailing past pet ownership and vet references - preference for previous pet owners. Ok, I'm not a dog genius, but I do think that I will do all the research on breeds/behavior/training/etc. to give myself an idea of what I'm getting myself into and what I need to do about it.

Like I said, I understand in part. They don't want these little guys to be adandoned and back out on the street, but when stray mutts like these are being killed by the hundreds every day, is it really wise to insist on so many different qualifications?

Dog Nazi Update: I just came across of group that makes you sign an agreement with many different promises - one of which includes that you will only buy specific brands of pet food as listed in the agreement.

Good News! - The DL from the LL

So in all my Doggie hysteria, I hadn’t yet checked with my landlord to see if she was alright with pets. I shot her an email.

She responded…

“…Problem with dogs is they are absolutely guaranteed to ruin the carpet, at the least, and marr the wood floors and molding at worst. If you are willing to replace the carpet (assuming it is necessary) and be responsible for damage, then a small dog would be OK.”

Does she sound convinced to you because I wasn’t sure…so I sent her another email outlining my responsibility displayed with the house thus far, my plans for the potential dog, and telling her if she decided that she wasn’t okay with me getting a dog that I understood and to just let me know.

Response:

I won't change my mind Ana. Good luck in your hunt. [Blank] and I got a 5 month old kitten a few months ago and she is a joy in our life, so I understand wanting a pet. Just dogs can be such a mess. But I know you are a responsible person. And what's the worst that can happen? A little damage. So I'm not worried. Like I said, good luck finding the right doggie.

The Great Dog Search is ON!

In the meantime, I found THIS little cutie online yesterday and kind of melted. I was like, “This could be MY DOG!”



Sadly, after emailing back and forth with the shelter, it sounds like she might be a little bit bigger than what I can handle. I need a dog that is substantially smaller than me, but big enough to where you can’t drop kick it. There’s not a ton of dogs in this category. Also, she’s a stray and while she supposedly has a great disposition, they’re not sure that she’s housebroken. I’m online with doing some training-related stuff for the dog, but as someone with no dog experience, I’m not sure that I’m ready to undertake a non-housetrained dog just a few weeks before finals. I can't decide whether or not to make the drive to go check her out. She's about an hour away. I keep going back to her pic though.

I was showing her to a friend in class today and he said, “She looks like she might have some Pit Bull, huh?”

Uh….Yeah, this seems to be the other problem with the dog shelters. No one wants to describe the dogs as Pit Bull so they assign some other terrier variation. I couldn’t tell if the dog looked PB like or not, but wouldn’t that be my luck?

What do you guys think? Should I go see the baby?

Motivation, can I get some?

I'm having one of those days where I'm sitting in the library with my book open, but can't seem to do anything other than mindless things like look at horoscopes on the internet. I'm sure I'll hate myself later. In the meantime, here's a funny 'scope I came across. It wasn't for my sign, but rather for Libras - I have four close friends with b-days between Oct 9-12 and I can never remember whose is on what date, but I do read their scopes.

"Remember sanity is simply the playground of the unimaginative."

I won't post any of mine because they're kind of disgusting. Apparently Venus entered my sign today so they're all LOVE, HARMONY, LOVE. Barf.

To Supplement or Not to Supplement? – a post for Prospective 1L’s

I remember being slightly the eager beaver during the spring before my 1L year. One of the things I wondered was whether or not to buy course supplements like E&E’s, Nutshells, etc.

YES.

First of all, your textbooks may or may not break it down for you. This isn’t a problem during your 2L/3L year, but it could help out a lot during your first year. Supplements typically take subjects and make them easier to understand. They also tend to include practice essay questions along with, wait for it, MODEL ANSWERS. The model answers are helpful because sometimes in law school, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.

Yeah, Ana, but what about the cost? I’m already going to be paying a bazillion dollars for tuition and a years worth of groceries on textbooks. I can’t afford supplements as well. Au contraire, mon frere. 1L is the year that matters. You want to do the absolute best that you can do. Don’t fork over 40K for everything else and then chintz on $300 worth of supplements. That, my friends, is stupidity.

Plus – supplements do not actually cost you anything over the long haul. Why, you ask? Because they’re almost liquid, baby – the same as cash. Depending on when you buy/sell your supplements, you can actually MAKE money on them. For example, in late December/early January and late May/early June everyone is dumping their supplements from the last semester. This is the best time to buy. Put the books up for sale about 8 weeks before finals. Don’t worry about putting the price a little high. At 4-6 weeks out, people will start to buy them out of crazed fear due to not reading during the entire semester. You can buy/sell at most online book sites – just check out their services. They will charge you a fee, but a $5-8 charge for a $40 book is not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things – especially if the book is just going to sit on your shelf and rot.

There you have it, my amigos. Don’t say I never did anything for you.

PS – Don’t buy the books and then never open them because you’re so swamped with the casebook reading. Force yourself to read a little bit every other day – AND DO THOSE PRACTICE PROBLEMS!

I'm just a girl who can't say no....

I have an amazing capacity to be a tough cookie in my public life. In school, at the auto shop, or negotiating a sale, I refuse to be taken advantage of. I am strong, clear, concise, and persuasive.

At home? Total softie.

I once had a cat and my mother commented that she couldn’t believe that I let him walk on my kitchen counters.

“Mom,” I said, “it’s a cat. Cats won’t listen to you.”

“Jimmy,” said my mom as she looked the cat straight in the face, “Get down off the counter.”

Jimmy jumped off the counter. Mother didn’t yell or sound mean. She was just firm and straightforward.

A few minutes later she walked out of the room and Jimmy jumped back up.

“Jimmy,” I said, “off the counter.”

Nothing.

“Please Jimmy? Pretty please? Nice kitty? Ana loves you. Sweetie. Baby. Please come down.”

My mom walked back in the room. “That’s pathetic, Ana,” she said as she stifled her laughter. “Jimmy.”

Cat bounced off the counter.

“I just don’t want to be mean,” I told Mom.

“Ana,” she replied, “sometimes the greatest expression of love is the ability to be firm and exercise discipline. Whether you realize it or not, your behavior is selfish.”

Selfish? Did she mean selfless? I opened my mouth to speak, but she counteracted with, “Don’t even think about talking back to me,” as she walked into the next room.

I closed my mouth.

“Good girl,” I heard her say as her head appeared from around the corner and flashed a winning grin.

********

This type of behavior in me extends far beyond domesticated animals. If one of my friends wants to go out on a night I need to study, I’ll go out because I love them. If a guy I’m interested in calls me, I’ll call him back within ten minutes, not because I just can’t wait to get back to him, but rather I don’t want him to worry. When a friend/loved one/romantic interest treats me poorly, I don’t let them sit and think about what they’ve done. I’ll call within a few hours of the altercation to make sure they’re not berating themselves. About the only way I ever react to bad behavior is to sit in the corner and sulk or make obnoxious comments in response to something completely different.

In some ways, I’m a good friend. In others, I’m an emotional doormat. I also cry during romantic movies and anytime one of those save-a-child commercials comes on TV, give money to homeless people, and if you remember – a few weeks ago after I was rear-ended by a guy with no registration, insurance, etc, I cried when the police arrested him and took him away – even though he had a warrant.

You can guess how I acted around Boy’s Dog. I gave Dog treats for no reason, fed him people food, brought him into bed with me, let him pull a little too hard on his tug-rope. Now that I think about it, maybe one of the reasons that Boy stopped calling was because he didn’t want me to ruin his dog. (I’m kidding, of course.)

My greatest fear in getting my own dog is that I won’t be strong enough to be the right kind of owner. What if I don’t discipline? What if my soft side turns my potential dog into a little monster? Over the past few days, I’ve decided that it’s about time that I conquered this behavior so today I spent time researching dog obedience schools. When I find my dog I want to be ready. I’m going to steel myself and be firm. The way I see it, I need obedience school just as much as the dog. At the end of each day, we're all animals that can be trained. And who knows? Maybe this new learned behavior will transcend me and a dog. Maybe it will help with my dating life, too.

I must just need a hobby...

My house post was prompted by an email from my mother. She’s cleaning out her house and sent me pictures of random items from my childhood. I wish I had some place to put them. As it stands, I’m just telling her to throw stuff out. No doubt that when I left for college fifteen years ago, my mother never imagined that at this point in my life I wouldn’t be married, own a home or still be a student. She turns sixty this month and I’m in my thirties. Mom shouldn’t have to be responsible for my stuff at this stage in the game.

You know those women that you see on TV shows or sometimes in real life, the ones who say they’re ready to settle down and it seems to be consuming them? I always used to think those women were complete idiots, but now I’m starting to somewhat understand where they're coming from. They’re not necessarily looking for the next breathing male that crosses their path. They’re just saying that they’re tired. Tired of hanging out in bars until 2 am. Tired of playing the whole dating game of the gentle back and forth. Don’t be too desperate. Don’t be too coy. Always hold a little back. Keep a level of mystery….blah, blah, blah, blah.

For the most part, I’ve loved coming back to school and getting to relive a portion of my twenties. Though I was hesitant at first to hang out with a younger crowd, I’ve found it has its perks. I know the stupid things I did in my twenties and to a certain extent I can avoid some of them. I have a much better idea of who I am now. And I’ve got to tip my hat to the guys of the younger generation. They are more egalitarian than the ones from mine. To be honest, they’ve kind of ruined my desire to date within my own age bracket. At the same time, as twenty-somethings, a lot of them are still unsure of themselves. I find myself thinking, “Those guys are going to be sooo awesome in five years.”

I’m not lonely. I’ve got good friends, but some nights I wish I stayed home. I never feel like a third wheel with Wine-Time Girl and her BF, but sometimes their actions make me a little wistful – when we’re all watching television and they’re cutely curled up together on one couch while I’m stretched out on my own, when I see him wait for her when we’re entering a bar, when I once watched the BF text WTG something trivial and then hold the phone in his hand waiting for her response rather than put it back in his pocket. Or the other night when I was out with two friends who are musicians – though two barstools were open they decided to share one. Later the guy took note of facial feature he never noticed before and touched her nose gently. I got off my stool to go find hugs from Alex, something I do way too much.

Though not devoid of dating prospects, my personal experiences are less than sentimental. Last week a guy cooked me dinner – then proceeded to jump me because he apparently misread my hopeless romantic personality and interpreted me as desiring casual sex. This did not go over well with my ego. Plus, it came hot on the heels of the whole Boy debacle which seemingly ended without any notification. I hadn’t heard from him in awhile and when I contacted him, I heard nothing back. When I contacted again later to say it was fine if he didn’t want to hang out anymore, but to please just let me know so that I would know where things stood, again I heard nothing. It’s always a positive experience when someone you’ve spent time with doesn’t think you rise to the level of being treated like a human-being.

I don't think it's them and I don't think it's me. I just think things weren't right. This post may come across as sad and mopey, but I’m actually not down in the dumps. I’m just recording my thoughts because it’s rare that I notice when others are coupled and I am not. It’s never particularly bothered me before, but I find it interesting that it does of late. I’m wondering if it’s a phase or a new part of life. I suppose in some sense I feel like I’m unaccomplished for my age, but I’m really not doing so badly – a) you can’t judge maturity or success by whether or not someone is in a relationship or owns a house and b) even if you could, it’s not like either are a far off unachievable goal. I’m not working a night shift as a cashier or anything. I’m in law school. I have friends. I like the person that I am. Maybe that is actually the problem. Everything else in my life is falling into place. Maybe there were always so many other things that I wanted to do first that I never really thought about these issues before. Maybe I just need a new hobby. Or a dog. Where's that dog???

Feeling Stuck...

I’ve been having one of those days where my mind has floated from my books every five minutes. I’m not so much bored with law school as ready to move on to a new goal. The problem is, I’m not sure what that new goal should be.

For the last five years, I’ve really wanted to buy a house. When I was living in Austin, I looked at several houses and even went so far to put bids on two of them, but both times someone else beat me out. The odd thing was, I felt a strange sense of relief when it happened, as if I knew that it wasn’t yet time for me to own a home.

Now, I’m in a city where I know I want to be. There are several neighborhoods that I could be happy with, but the problem is, I’m a student. I have no income. And I used up all the savings I had for a down payment on a house in order to cover my living expenses for law school. I’m not sad that my 50k has dwindled. In using it, I’ve found the place that is truly my home. I’ve never been happier. Still, I just can’t buy a home right now…and I may not be able to for several years after I graduate.

I don’t know that a house is the best financial investment in the world, but I do know that after living in four different cities and too many apartments to mention that I am ready to build my own little nest. For the first time in my life I WANT to put down roots. I know that something within me will feel more at ease once I have a little bungalow all my own with walls that I can paint and a central HVAC system that I can bemoan. I don’t need much more than 1700 square feet or so. And two bathrooms – a separate one for guests or those odd moments when the main one isn’t working for some reason.

I will say that I’ve enjoyed living in my current mini-house. I’m getting used to climbing stairs, paying an electric bill for a place with no adjoining walls, and cursing all of the things that go wrong with an old house (although I’ve almost always lived in old apartments because I love the personality of older places. Screw energy and space efficiency. Home is all about aesthetics).

A lot of gals get to a point in life when they’re ready to settle down, and I’m no different. Instead of desiring husband and children though, I’m just pining for a little house with a little yard and a little dog. And lots of built-in bookshelves.