Shh...genius at work...

During certain parts of the school day as well as certain parts of the school year, the law library becomes very crowded. While the library could probably sneak in a few more tables, no one from admin has done this. They did however, add extra chairs. Huh? Yeah, chairs. Instead of four chairs at each of the long tables there are now six – three on each side.

This is dumb – you want to know why? Too bad, I’m going to tell you anyway. First of all, when you cram three people on one side of the table, you end up with so little table space that you are limited to opening your laptop OR opening a book. You cannot do both. Consequently, no one ever sits more than two to a table, even with the extra chair because, well, it seems kind of rude to take someone else’s space and not get much of your own.

But here’s the kicker – not only is the third chair superfluous – it actually has the effect of creating fewer places to sit. Huh, what, you ask? Yep. Yesirree, Bob, fewer places to sit. When there were two chairs on each side, people would sit in both and each have enough space. However, now if someone comes into the library and all three chairs happen to be open, do you know which one they sit in first? The middle one. Yep, you heard me. When someone sits in the middle there is not enough space for another person on either side.

So yeah – the library added more chairs and somehow we ended up with less space.

Can I also add that there’s a guy sitting in a middle chair right now at the table next to me and he’s diagramming molecules. Now, I know my school has some extensive health law classes, but I seriously doubt that one is required to diagram molecules in any of them.

I am tempted to walk up to the guy and say, “I’m not sure if you can read seeing as how you are dealing with a bunch of letters, yet no words. However, you may have noticed the letters L-A-W when you walked through the door. This is not a chemical composition, but rather a field of study for those of us with irregular chemical compositions. Did you ever watch Sesame Street per chance? Yes? Do you remember the 'one of these things is not like the other' game? Yeah, uh-huh? Guess who’s not like the other? You, buddy. Yes, you. You do not belong here. Now, get out of my library before I go all Sybil on you.”